Doctor Who · Season 16
[Takes telescope.] This is a forbidden object.
Why?
That is a forbidden question. [Circles Romana.] You are a stranger?
Well, yes.
Strangers are forbidden.
I did come with the Doctor.
Who is-
[Interrupts] Ah, now, don't tell me, Doctors are forbidden as well.
[Mentiads enter, look at the Doctor]
Hullo? Are you by any chance the Mentiads?
[Mentiads radiate psychic energy]
It's just that...you look like Mentiads to me...
[Escorts Romana to aircar.] Get in.
I shall take that as an invitation. [Hands guard telescope] Thank you. [Climbs in] Will you drive? I assume you know where we're going.
It's an economic miracle! Of course it's wrong.
Do you drive these things for a living?
No. I save planets, mostly.
Take care, Doctor! Your manner only appeals to the homicidal side of my nature!
Well, I just put 1.795372 and 2.204628 together.
And what does that mean?
[grinning wildly] Four!
A plank!?
The theory is very simple. You walk along it. At the end you fall off. Drop 1000 feet. Dead.
You can't be serious!
Captain, sir.
Speak, Mr. Fibuli.
The Psychic Interference Transmitter, sir; There seems to be something counter-jamming it.
What!? We Dematerialize in three minutes! [into a loudspeaker] ALL GUARDS ON ALERT! SOMEONE IS USING A COUNTER-JAMMING FREQUENCY PROJECTOR! FIND IT AND DESTROY IT IMMEDIATELY!!!
Captain, do you suppose any of the guards know what a "Counter-Jamming Frequency Projector" looks like?
Pause
[into the loudspeaker] DESTROY EVERYTHING!!!
Newton? Who's Newton?
Old Isaac. Friend of mine on Earth. Discovered gravity. Well, I say he discovered gravity, I had to give him a bit of a prod.
What did you do?
Climbed up a tree.
And?
Dropped an apple on his head.
Ah, and so he discovered gravity?
No, no. He told me to clear off out of his tree. I explained it to him afterwards at dinner.
The whole system is so perfectly aligned by the most exquisite exercise in gravitational geometry that every system is balanced out within itself. Which is why we can stand next to billions of tons of super- compressed matter and not even be aware of it. With each new planet I acquire, the forces are realigned but the system remains stable.
Then it's the most brilliant piece of astro-gravitational engineering I've ever seen. The concept is simply staggering... Pointless, but staggering.
I'm gratified that you appreciate it.
The Doctor [scornfully]: Appreciate it? Appreciate it! What, you commit mass destruction and murder on a scale that's almost inconceivable, and you ask me to appreciate it?! Just because you happen to have made a brilliantly-conceived toy out of the mummified remains of planets!
Devil storms, Doctor! It is not a toy!
The Doctor [anguished]: Then what's it for?! Huh? What are you doing? What could possibly be worth all this?
K-9, what is tennis?
Real, lawn or table, mistress?
[Beat] Never mind. Forget it.
Forget. Erase memory banks concerning tennis. [Whirrs] Memory erased.
If they should break through, run as if something very nasty were after you, because something very nasty will be after you.
Doesn't the blood upset you then?
Oh, it'll probably be just another sacrifice.
I thought you told me Earth was civilized now.
It's getting exciting, isn't it?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Doctor Who pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
