Doctor Who · Season 9
Doctor, I thought the TARDIS was working again?
What gave you that idea?
Well, being dragged 500 years into the future, for example? I mean, all that business with the miners and the colonists.
My dear Jo, the TARDIS was working then because it was being operated under remote control by the High Council of the Time Lords.
Well, if it worked for them-
I don't want it to work for them: I want it to work for me. No one's going to turn me into an interplanetary puppet.
Yes, of course, I remember now. [to Jo] Look, don't worry, my dear. I know you're alarmed, but you needn't be.
Yes, well, I think that should do it. Why on Earth I never realised that- Oh no, what are you doing here?
Well, I'm not here, don't worry. Well....That is, in the sense, I am here, but, er....you are not there. It's a bit difficult to explain, really...
This won't do at all. We can't have two of us running about.
Yes, well, don't worry! It will all sort itself... [disappears in a flash of light]
You're a spy!
Am I? Who am I spying for?
I'm asking the questions. I repeat, you're a spy!
That wasn't a question. That was a statement.
Careful, our friends here don't get much fun. [Gestures to the thuggish Ogron security guards.]
Poor fellows. Sorry I can't oblige them at the moment, I'm not in the mood for games.
Peladon welcomes the delegate from Alpha Centauri.
As a member of the preliminary assessment commission, I have great hopes that your planet will be acceptable as a candidate for the Galactic Federation.
That is my firm intention.
Mister Trenchard paid me to bring you out here and take you back. You want to go over to the naval base, then you make your own arrangements.
Yes, well, you're probably perfectly right. Look, er, I wonder whether you'd like to go and see what's happening to my young friend? She said she was going to buy some picture postcards. [Holds up a note of the realm]
I don't mind.
I'd go myself, only my bad leg's playing me up a bit. The Crimea, you know.
[Confused] I see. Crimea?
Oh, Gallipoli? El Alamein? Does it really matter?
I reckon not.
[The Master is watching the episode of The Clangers where the probe has landed on their planet. The Master whistles along with the puppets as Trenchard enters]
What are you watching?
It seems to be a rather interesting extraterrestrial life form.
[looks over at the TV] Only puppets, you know? For children.
Oh. [Turns off the TV]
How much to see you?
A fiver.
Right.
Full house, kings on twos.
[sarcastic] Oh, that's marvellous, innit? Just marvellous.
Come on, it's not your life savings, it's only a couple of quid. I'll give you a chance to get your own back.
Ah, forget it.
What's the matter with you?
I don't know. Being stuck out here, I suppose.
It's not so bad. Are you sure you don't want another game?
Do you know, there's something funny about this place.
[not believing him] Share the joke.
Well, the place is deserted, right?
So?
Just the two of us on maintenance?
Right.
Yet I keep getting the feeling I'm being watched.
[Possibly by the owner of the scaly hand reaching over a hatch ledge]
Now, are there are more transmitters on this fort?
No, nothing.
Any transistor radios, that sort of thing?
I think so. The crew's quarters. The crew...
What do you want to do? Listen to Night Ride?
Those things that attacked us - you said you'd seen something like it before.
Something very similar, certainly. They emerged from some caves in Derbyshire.
The Silurians, wasn't it? The Brigadier was telling me.
That's a complete misnomer. The chap who discovered them must have got the period wrong. No, properly speaking, they should have been called the "Eocenes".
That was that race of super-reptiles that had been in hibernation for billions of years, wasn't it?
That's right, and if you want my opinion, there's another of their colony right here beneath us.
Well, something seems to have woken them up.
Probably the rebuilding of this fort.
But I thought you said they lived in caves?
Well, this is a different species, completely adapted to life underwater.
And they've been sinking the ships?
Very likely.
Why? I mean, why are they so hostile? What have we done to them?
They still think of Earth as their planet, Jo, and they want it back. As far as they're concerned, man is just an ape who got above himself.
This is our planet. My people ruled the Earth when man was only an ape.
Your people went into hibernation and abandoned Earth to its fate.
Our astronomers predicted that a great catastrophe would end all life on the face of the Earth.
Yes, but the catastrophe that you predicted never happened. And the apes that you left behind on the surface to die became man.
You know our history?
Yes. Yes, I've encountered your people before. That is why I want to prevent a conflict that can only end in your destruction.
We shall destroy man and reclaim the planet. Already we have begun to sink his ships.
Yes, and already more ships are being sent to hunt you down.
The submarine? We have captured it.
You may win a few victories to begin with but eventually you're bound to lose.
There are many thousands of our people in hibernation in this base. We have other colonies hidden all round the world. We shall be the victors in the war against mankind.
But there's no need for a war! Why can't you share the planet?
That would be impossible.
The depths of the sea and those areas on Earth where man cannot live can be yours.
And man would agree to that?
There's a chance. Wouldn't it be better to try for a peace, than to launch yourself into a war that you cannot possibly win?
I will consider what you have said.
Let me return to the humans, and I will endeavour to make a peace for you.
Perhaps it would be possible...
No! The Doctor is your deadly enemy! He must be destroyed!
Once they see that the device works properly, they'll release me.
I very much doubt it. You see, before you reactivated it, I reversed the polarity of the neutron flow.
You did what?! You realise what will happen?!
Oh, yes. Do you?
Well, there'll be a massive reverse feedback into their whole power system.
Exactly. In about ten minutes from now, the whole place should go up. Enjoy your revenge.
In any case, Doctor, every section of UNIT now has the search for the Master written into standing orders.
Priority Z one hundred and forty four, I suppose?
Priority A one, actually.
Look, I tell you, Brigadier, there is grave danger.
Danger of what, for heavens sake?
Well, I'm not sure, but in my dream I quite clearly saw...
You know, if this got out, you'd be the laughing stock of UNIT. A dream. Really, Doctor, you'll be consulting the entrails of a sheep next. [Jo laughs]
[The Doctor and Jo are driving along a road in Bessie]
[looking at the sky] It's a doomy old day. I mean, just look at that sky. Just look at it.
Do stop wiffling, Jo, there's a good girl. We're not out on a pleasure jaunt, you know?
Sorry, Doctor.
Only, if it is the Master, we can't run the risk of losing him. You just keep your eye on the time sensor.
Right. [the Time Sensor promptly starts working] Doctor?
Yeah?
It's working again.
[stops Bessie] What's the bearing?
Er, oh seven four, and, er, sixteen point three nine miles away.
Well, that's Venusian miles. In Earth miles, that's be about seventy two point seven nine. Let's take a look at the map. [pulls up the map] Well, we're about here. That should put us somewhere around there. A village called Wootton.
Wootton? Well, that's where the Brigadier and Sergeant Benton are.
TOM-TIT? If the Master's behind that. What time's the demonstration?
2 o'clock.
We've got to stop it. Hang on tight, Jo. [puts Bessie into Super Drive and off they rocket]
Put your hands in the air, both of you. Get them up. Now turn around slowly. Slowly.
Well, well, well. The resourceful Sergeant Benton.
You didn't really think you could fool me with a fake telephone call, did you? It's the oldest trick in the book.
I underestimated you, Sergeant. How did you know?
Simple. The Brigadier's not in the habit of calling Sergeants "my dear fellow".
Ah. The tribal taboos of army etiquette. I find it difficult to identify with such primitive absurdities.
Yes, well, primitive or not, mate, you're still in the soup without a ladle, aren't you.
Now, Sergeant, you must let me explain.
Keep back! Keep back.
Yes, of course.
Keep back.
Of course, Sergeant. You see, Sergeant Benton, the whole point is that... Doctor! What a very timely...
[Benton looks behind him and the Master grabs his gun arm, making him drop the pistol and throws him to the floor. Benton hits his head against a filing cabinet and is out for the count]
You're wrong, Sergeant Benton! That is the oldest trick in the book!
[Jo is wearing a Minoan dress and wig and is admiring herself in a Cheval mirror]
Wow, what a groovy dress. Do you reckon it'll get mum's approval?
Mum? Oh, you mean Queen Galleia?
Yeah, guess so. [giggles]
Mum.
Anyway, let's go and give her a preview. [walks to the door]
No, I'm sorry. She does not wish to be disturbed. The Lord Master is with her.
Is he now?
They speak of the sacred mysteries.
Kronos and all that bit?
It is forbidden.
But that is what they're on about?
Yes.
Right. [begins to open the door]
[stops Jo] No, you mustn't go in! You mustn't!
Look, I'll be as quiet as a... Do they have Mice in Atlantis?
Yes.
Well, that's what I'll be as quiet as. An Atlantean Mouse, OK? [opens the door a little]
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