Doctor Who · Season 25
[looking at an unmarked van with a rotating antenna] Strange...
Oi, Professor, can we get something to eat now?
[The Doctor bumps into her backpack]
You're not carrying any Nitro-9 explosives in there?
No.
What do you make of that van?
Dunno. TV detector van?
No. Wrong type of aerial. And for this time period, that's a very sophisticated piece of equipment.
What's so sophisticated about that rig? I've seen better aerials on a CV.
Now perhaps, Doctor, you could tell me what is going on?
You must pull your men back now. It's their only chance.
It's preposterous. We can't disengage now. Whoever is in there, my men can handle it. Sergeant!
Listen to me, Brigadier...
Group Captain. Group Captain Gilmore!
Nothing you possess will be effective against what's in there!
Sir?
Three men, rifle-grenades, even spread left right and centre. Fire on my command.
Yes, sir.
Group Captain, you're not dealing with human beings here.
What am I dealing with? Little green men?
No, little green blobs in bonded polycarbide armour.
Grenades are ready, sir.
Group Captain Gilmore.
Fire.
[exasperated] Humans...
Smith!
Sir?
Get on the radio. Call up Blue Four and Six. Tell Four to pick up an ambulance on the way.
Yes, sir.
It doesn't matter how many men you get here. It isn't going to make any difference.
Doctor, my men have just put three high-explosive grenades into a confined area. Nothing even remotely human could have survived that.
That's the point group, Group Captain: it isn't even remotely human.
[A single Dalek emerges, opening fire on the assembled RAF troops]
Aim for the eyepiece! Ace, give me some of that Nitro-9 that you're not carrying! Quickly. [takes two cans of Nitro-9 from Ace's backpack] And another!
That's my last can!
I should hope so, too! How long, the fuze?
Ten seconds!
That's long enough.
[Luring a Dalek into a trap] Oi, Dalek! It's me, the Doctor! What's the matter, don't you recognise your mortal enemy?
These dayleks...
Daleks.
Oh, Daleks, where are they from?
From Skaro, at least originally. They're the mutated remains of a species called the Kaleds. Left here.
Why were they left here?
No, turn left here!
Oh, right.
No left, you missed the turning!
What turn? Where?
Why don't you concentrate on where you're going?!
Look, I'm doing the best I can! If you don't like it, you drive!
[the two somehow change seats as the van goes under a bridge, much to Ace's confusion]
The Kaleds were at war with the Thals. They had a dirty nuclear war. The resulting mutations were then accelerated by their chief scientist, Davros. What he created he then placed in a metal war machine, and that's how the Daleks came about.
So that metal thing had a creature inside controlling it?
Exactly. And ever since the Daleks were created, they've tried to conquer and enslave as much as the universe as they can get their grubby little protuberances on.
And now they want to conquer the Earth.
Nothing so mundane. They conquer the Earth in the 22nd century. No. They want the Hand of Omega.
What's that?
One thing at a time, Ace.
You were expecting these Daleks, weren't you?
Yes, they're following me.
I wouldn't be so pleased if I had a bunch of Daleks on my case.
You can always judge a man by the quality of his enemies.
What do you make of that?
It's a playground.
The burn marks. See them? Well?
A landing pattern for some kind of spacecraft, isn't it?
Very good.
But this is Earth, 1963. Well someone would've noticed, I'd have heard about it!
Do you remember the Zygon gambit with the Loch Ness monster? Or the Yetis in the underground?
The what?
Your species has the most amazing capacity for self-deception, matched only by its ingenuity when trying to destroy itself.
What are we looking for?
Shush. Whoever it was landed the spaceship in the playground.
And that would be?
More Daleks.
Oh, great. I thought it might be something really nasty(!)
Ah, the cellar. It could be down in there.
Why the cellar?
Good place to put things, cellars.
What about the Dalek? Won't he try and stop us?
Quite possibly. Stay close behind.
Hey. It must have gone back down to the cellar.
[Wrong]
You will be exterminated!
Sugar?
Ah. A decision... Would it make any difference?
Would make your tea sweet.
Yes, but beyond the confines of my taste buds, would it make any difference?
Not really.
But...
Yeah?
What if I could control people's taste buds? What if I decided that no one would take sugar? That'd make a difference to those who sell the sugar and those who cut the cane.
My father, he was a cane cutter!
Exactly. Now if no one had used sugar, your father wouldn't have been a cane cutter.
If this sugar thing had never started, my great grandfather wouldn't have been kidnapped, chained up and sold in Kingston in the first place. I'd be a African.
Every great decision creates ripples, like a huge boulder dropped in a lake. The ripples merge and rebound off the banks in unforeseeable ways. The heavier the decision, the larger the waves, the more uncertain the consequences.
Life's like that. Best thing is just to get on with it.
[On the phone] Hello, governor? Somebody's come to collect that big casket. [pause] Yes, yes the Doctor. [pause] Just one thing, governor: I thought you said he was an old geezer with white hair!
You were hired as a chief scientific adviser, one tends to expect advice from one's adviser.
For one thing, Group Captain, I was not hired, I was drafted. And for another, do you think I'm enjoying having some space vagrant come along and tell me that the painstaking research I have devoted my life to, has been superseded by a bunch of tin-plated pepper pots?!
Steady on, Professor!
"Steady on"?! You drag me down from Cambridge, you quote the Peacetime Emergency Powers Act and me, and then you expect me to advise on something outside the scope of human experience! [sighs] Bluntly, Group Captain, we are dependent on the Doctor because only the Doctor knows what is going on!
[The Doctor explains the history of the Hand of Omega.]
It's called that because Time Lords have an infinite capacity for pretension.
Noticed that.
Doctor, we've had a report of a radar contact.
On a re-entry curve from low orbit?
Yes.
That'll be the Imperial Dalek shuttlecraft.
What? They're not landing a spaceship here.
Here? No. We're much too far from the main action.
[sound of landing jets outside]
You're sure...?
[staring out the window at the Dalek shuttle landing in the school playground] Cor!
Ace, get away from the window! Down!
[everybody ducks from flying debris as the windows shatter]
I think I might have miscalculated.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Doctor Who pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
