Doctor Who quotes

Please tell me you have a plan.

No, I have a thing. It's like a plan, but with more greatness.

Hold my hand, Doctor. Try to see what I see. We're so lucky we're still alive to see this beautiful world. Look at the sky. It's not dark and black and without character. The black is in fact deep blue. And over there! Lighter blue. [the starscape slowly transforms into The Starry Night] And blowing through the blueness and the blackness, the winds swirling through the air. And there shining, burning, bursting through, the stars! Can you see how they roar their light? Everywhere we look, the complex magic of nature blazes before our eyes.

I’ve seen many things, my friend, but you’re right: nothing quite as wonderful as the things you see.

Dr Black? We met a few days ago; I asked you about The Church at Auvers.

Ah, yes; glad to be of help. You were nice about my tie.

And today is another cracker if I may say so. [steering Dr Black into Vincent's vicinity] But I just wondered between you and me in 100 words where do you think Van Gogh rates in the history of art?

Well... big question, but to me, van Gogh is the finest painter of them all; certainly the most popular great painter of all time: The most beloved; his command of colour; the most magnificent. He transformed the pain of his tormented life into ecstatic beauty. Pain is easy to portray, but to use your passion and pain to portray the ecstasy and joy and magnificence of our world... no one had ever done it before. Perhaps no one ever will again. To my mind that strange wild man who roamed the fields of Provence was not only the world’s greatest artist, but also one of the greatest men who ever lived.

Oh, Vincent, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, is it too much?

No, they are tears of joy! Thank you sir, thank you! [kisses Dr Black's cheeks in gratitude] Sorry about the beard.

The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa the bad things don’t always spoil the good things or make them unimportant. And we definitely added to his pile of good things.

Ah you want to see my credentials… [shows psychic paper] There, national insurance number... [passes psychic paper behind his back] NHS number... [passes psychic paper behind his back again] References.

[incredulous] Is that a reference from the Archbishop of Canterbury?!

I'm his special favourite. Shhh.

Where did you learn to cook?

Paris in the 18th century. No, hang on, that's not recent is it? 17th? No no, 20th. Sorry, I'm not used to doing it in the right order.

Has anyone ever told you that you're a bit weird?

They never really stop. (tiny smile)

If you ever need me out of your hair, just give me a shout. [winks]

[winks back, pause] Why would I want that?

Well, in case you want to bring someone over? Like a girlfriend, or... [looks at the Doctor's clothes] boyfriend?

Oh! Oh, yes, yes, I will. I will shout, something like... "I was not expecting this!"

You are so on the team! We've got the cup next week and we are going to annihilate them!

[sternly] Annihilate? No. No violence, do you understand me? Not while I'm around. Not today, not ever. I'm the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm. [Shaun stares back at the Doctor] And you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn't you?

Yeah.

Lovely. What sort of time?

It's a Pandorica.

More than just a fairy tale.

There was a goblin, or a trickster, or a warrior. A nameless, terrible thing, soaked in the blood of a billion galaxies. The most feared being in all the cosmos. And nothing could stop it, or hold it, or reason with it. One day it would just drop out of the sky and tear down your world.

How did it end up in there?

You know fairy tales. A good wizard tricked it.

I hate good wizards in fairy tales. They always turn out to be him.

Daleks. Those are Daleks.

Daleks, Doctor.

Yes. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Dalek fleet. A bit over twelve thousand battle ships all armed to the teeth. Ahaah! But we've got surprise on our side! They'll never expect three people to attack twelve thousand battle ships 'cause we'd be killed instantly, so it would be a very short surprise. Forget surprise. [hits his head with his sonic screwdriver]

What was that?!

Okay, need a proper look. Gotta draw its fire, give it a target.

How?

You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas?

Yes...?

Sorry. [runs out from behind the Pandorica] LOOK AT ME, I'M A TARGET!

Hello, Stonehenge! Who takes the Pandorica, takes the universe! But bad news, everyone, [jumps up from inside Stonehenge] 'cause guess who! Ha! Listen, you lot! You're all whizzing about; it's really very distracting. Could you all just stay still a minute, because I! AM! TALKING! [The ships stop instantly] Now, the question of the hour is, "Who's got the Pandorica?" Answer: I do. Next question: "Who's coming to take it from me?" [Pause] Come on! Look at me! No plan, no back-up, no weapons worth a damn! Oh, and something else I don't have, anything - to - LOSE! So… if you're sitting up there in your silly little spaceships with all your silly little guns, and you've got any plans on taking the Pandorica tonight, just remember who's standing in your way! Remember every black day I ever stopped you, and then, AND THEN... do the smart thing. Let somebody else try first. [The battleships all retreat to a much higher orbit. To Rory] That should keep them squabbling for half an hour.

The universe is big, it's vast and complicated, and ridiculous. And sometimes, very rarely, impossible things just happen and we call them miracles. And that's the theory. Nine hundred years, never seen one yet, but this would do me.

You lot, working together... an Alliance. How is that possible?

The cracks in the skin of the universe.

All reality is threatened.

All universes will be deleted.

What? And you... you've come to me for help?

No! We will save the universe, from you!

[incredulous] From me?

All projections correlate. All evidence concurs. The Doctor will destroy the universe.

No. No. No, you've got it wrong.

The Pandorica was constructed to ensure the safety of the Alliance.

A scenario was devised from the memories of your companion.

A trap the Doctor could not resist.

The cracks in time are the work of the Doctor! It is confirmed!

No, no, no, not me, the TARDIS! And I'm not in the TARDIS, am I?

Only the Doctor can pilot the TARDIS.

Please! Listen to me!

You will be prevented!

[terrified, close to tears] Total event collapse! Every sun will supernova at every moment in history! The whole universe will never have existed! PLEASE, listen to me!

[clenching his fist] Seal the Pandorica.

No! Please, listen to me! The TARDIS is exploding right now, and I'm the only one who can stop it! LISTEN TO ME...!

I have questions, but number one is this: What in the name of sanity have you got on your head?

It's a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezzes are cool.