“The Big Bang” quotes from Doctor Who

I have questions, but number one is this: What in the name of sanity have you got on your head?

It's a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezzes are cool.

You will be exterminated!

Not yet. Your systems are still restoring, which means your shield density is compromised. One alpha-meson burst through your eye stalk would kill you stone dead.

Records indicate you will show mercy. You are an associate of the Doctor.

I'm River Song. Check your records again. [points her gun at the Dalek]

[uneasily] Mercy.

[menacingly sweet] Say it again.

Mercy!

One more time.

Mercy!

Oh. Ok. I escaped, then. Brilliant. I love it when I do that. [Checks legs] Legs, yes. [Checks neck] Bow tie...cool. [Checks head. Disappointed] I can buy a fez.

[speaking to 7-year-old Amelia, sleeping in her bed, as his timeline unravels] That's funny. I thought if you could hear me I could hang on somehow. Silly me. Silly old Doctor. When you wake up, you'll have a mum and dad, and you won't even remember me. Well, you'll remember me a little. I'll be a story in your head. But that's OK. We're all stories in the end. Just make it a good one, eh? Cause it was, you know. It was the best. A daft old man who stole a magic box and ran away. Did I ever tell you that I stole it? Well, I borrowed it. I was always going to take it back. Oh, that box. Amy, you'll dream about that box. It'll never leave you. Big and little at the same time. Brand new and ancient and the bluest blue ever. And the times we had, eh? Would've had... Never had. In your dreams, they'll still be there. The Doctor and Amy Pond, and the days that never came. The cracks are closing, but they can't close properly until I'm on the other side. I don't belong here anymore. I think I'll skip the rest of the rewind. I hate repeats. Live well. Love Rory. Bye-bye, Pond.

There's someone missing. Someone important, someone so, so important. Sorry everyone, but when I was a kid, I had an imaginary friend, the Raggedy Doctor, my Raggedy Doctor. But he wasn't imaginary, he was real. [shouting] I remember you! I remember! I brought the others back; I can bring you home too! Raggedy man, I remember you, and you are late for my wedding! [As Amy remembers, the Doctor and the TARDIS starts to materialise in the room] I found you. I found you in words just like you knew I would. That's why you told me the story, the brand new, ancient blue box. Oh clever, very clever.

Amy, what is it?

Something old. Something new. Something borrowed. Something blue.

[In the background] It's the Doctor! How could we forget the Doctor? I was plastic! He was the stripper at my stag do!

Okay Doctor, did I surprise you this time?

Er, yeah. Completely astonished. Never expected that. [steps out of the TARDIS wearing a tuxedo] How lucky I happen to be wearing this old thing. Hello, everyone! I'm Amy's imaginary friend! But I came anyway.

You absolutely, definitely may kiss the bride—

Amelia, from now on, I shall be leaving the... kissing duties to the brand new... Mr. Pond!

No! I'm not Mr. Pond. That's not how it works.

Yeah it is.

[looks at Amy and nods] Yeah, it is.