Doctor Who quotes

Why did you come here anyway?

I love old things. They make me feel sad.

What's good about sad?

It's happy for deep people.

Fascinating race, the Weeping Angels. The only psychopaths in the universe to kill you nicely. No mess, no fuss, they just zap you into the past and let you live to death, the rest of your life used up and blown away in the blink of an eye. You die in the past and in the present they consume the energy of all the days you might have had. All your stolen moments. They're creatures of the abstract, they live off potential energy.

He's the Doctor.

Yep, that's me.

Okay, that's scary.

No, it sounds like he's replying, but he always says that.

Yes, I do.

And that.

Yep, and this.

He can hear us! Oh, my God, you can really hear us!

Of course he can't hear us. Look, I've got a transcript, see? Everything he says. "Yep, that's me," "Yes, I do," "Yep, and this," next is...

[sheepishly] Sorry.

People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly... timey-wimey... stuff.

What do you mean, Angels? You mean those statue things?

Creatures from another world.

But they're just statues.

Only when you see them.

What does that mean?

The "Lonely Assassins", they used to be called. No one quite knows where they came from, but they're as old as the universe, or very nearly, and they have survived this long because they have the most perfect defence system ever evolved: they're quantum-locked. They don't exist when they're being observed. The moment they are seen by any other living creature, they freeze into rock. No choice, it's a fact of their biology. In the sight of any living thing, they literally turn to stone. And you can't kill a stone. Of course, a stone can't kill you either, but then you turn your head away, then you blink... and oh, yes it can.

[to Larry, regarding a nearby Angel] Don't take your eyes off that.

That's why they cover their eyes. They're not weeping, they can't risk looking at each other. Their greatest asset is their greatest curse. They can never be seen. The loneliest creatures in the universe.

And... that's it, I'm afraid. That's the last I got on the transcript. I don't know what's stopped you talking, but I can guess. The Angels are coming for you. But listen, your life could depend on this. Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. They are fast, faster than you can believe. Don't turn your back, don't look away, and don't blink. Good luck.

This is security protocol 712. This time capsule has detected the presence of an authorized control disc, valid one journey. Please insert the disc and prepare for departure.

Look at them! Quick! Look at them!

I don't think we need to; he tricked them! The Doctor tricked them! They're looking at each other; they're never gonna move again.

[to Martha] Captain Jack Harkness... and who are you?

Martha Jones.

Nice to meet you, Martha Jones.

[Irritated] Oh, don't start!

I was only saying 'hello'!

[flattered] I don't mind.

But the thing is, why'd you leave him behind, Doctor?

[dismissively] I was busy.

Is that what happens though, seriously? You just get bored of us one day and disappear?

Not if you're blonde.

[sarcastically] Oh, she was blonde! Oh, what a surprise!

[spinning around, irritated] You two, we're at the end of the universe. Okay?! Right at the edge of knowledge itself! And you're busy... [struggling to find the right word] BLOGGING!

[speaking on human evolution and the refugees] Oh, might have spent a million years evolving into clouds of gas... and another million as downloads, but you always revert to the same basic shape: the fundamental human. End of the universe and here you are. Indomitable, that's the word! Indomitable! Ha!

And... Utopia is...?

Oh, every human knows about Utopia! Where have you been?!

Bit of a hermit.

A hermit? With... friends?

Hermits United. We meet up every ten years, swap stories about caves. It's good fun. For a hermit.

Excuse me, Prime Minister, but do you mind my asking, what is that?

[muffled from his gas mask] A gas mask.

I beg your pardon?

[lifts gas mask] It's a gas mask. [lowers the mask over his face]

Yes, but why are you wearing it?

[muffled] Well, because of the gas!

I'm sorry?

[lifts up his mask] Because of the gas! [lowers it]

What gas?

[muffled] This gas.

So, Doctor, tell us. Who is he? How come the ancient race of Time Lords created a psychopath?

Yeah, and what is he to you? Like a colleague or...?

He was a friend, at first...

I thought you were going to say he was your secret brother or something.

[pause] You've been watching too much TV.

But all the legends of Gallifrey made it sound so perfect.

Well, perfect to look at, maybe. And it was, it was beautiful. They used to call it the Shining World of the Seven Systems. And on the continent of Wild Endeavour, in the mountains of Solace and Solitude, there stood the Citadel of the Time Lords. The oldest and most mighty race in the universe. Looking down on the galaxies below, sworn never to interfere, only to watch. Children of Gallifrey were taken from their families at the age of eight, to enter the Academy. Some say that's where it all began, when he was a child. That's when the Master saw eternity. As a novice, he was taken for initiation. He stood in front of the Untempered Schism. It's a gap in the fabric of reality through which could be seen the whole of the vortex. We stand there, eight years old, staring at the raw power of Time and Space, just a child. Some would be inspired. Some would run away. And some would go mad. Oh, I dunno.

What about you?

Oh, the ones that ran away! I never stopped.

[grinning, seemingly ignorant.] Oh! I know what it's like. It's like when you fancy someone and they don't even know you exist. That's what it's like. [he runs off.] Come on!

You too, huh?