Son, I know it's your phone bill and you've got your own money coming in, but you do know that these mobile phones can damage your head membranes if used to excess.
Dad, I've got Bluetooth.
There you go, that's exactly my point.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
If he asks about me, tell him I'm not here. I've gone up to London.
But he's already asked about you, and he's standing right behind you.
All those times you brought me up here. Was it always to watch him sail?
I'm sorry. Affairs taint everything, don't they?
What do you want Adrian?
I want you to put in a word for me with Chris Parsons. You see, Faulkner is about to move on.
And you think you're ready to step up?
Yes, but I'm getting some resistance from Chris Parsons. Since you two are mates I wondered if you might give him a call.
I've spoken to Chris. He rang me. He thinks you're an arse. I think you're an arse too. Enjoy your weekend.
(Adrian storms out)
Arse.
NNeville
So I don't need a blood test?
You have an ear infection, Neville.
Ah, Elaine. Any chance of making me a cup of tea?
Make it yourself. I'm not the tea girl.
As you can see, I have patients waiting.
Well, best go faster then.
White, no sugar.
(A woman phones in to Caroline Bosman's radio programme and asks whether it is true that Dr Ellingham hates the sight of blood)
(Listening to programme in the pub) Doc Martin'll see the funny side, he'll just go with the flow, you'll see.
Next caller. You are live...
(Phoning in to Caroline's radio programme) This is Doctor Martin Ellingham. I'd like to get a few things crystal clear for you and your puerile listeners. I admit to having certain difficulties but they have not and they never will impair my functions as a doctor. And for the record, the incident with a certain village plumber was in fact a prank with some ketchup which, by the way, kept me from attending to patients in my surgery.
(Ranting)
And as to so-called homeopathic remedies, if there's one for chronic infantilism then I suggest that your caller and indeed the entire village should embark on a course immediately. Thank you.
Where does it hurt?
I'm all right.
When you're the doctor you can make that judgement. Where does it hurt?
It doesn't.
I have done some reading.
Have you done a medical degree?
No.
Well, shut up then.
What are you doing? He's nine years old.
All right. Take him to the hospital.
What?
Obviously nine year olds and nursery teachers know better than I do. Take him to the hospital, get him checked over there.
Please, Marty, don't apologise - it would give either one or both of us heart failure.
I was wrong. Intercostal sprain.
Well, we'll see. Let's get you to the hospital, you might be right.
No. You tell the truth. Most adults... you tell the truth.
OK Peter, I think when you fell in the gym you may have hurt one of your important organs. You have some shoulder-tip pain on your left side so I suspect that it's the spleen.
You can live without your spleen, can't you?
Yes you can. but you may be bleeding inside so that's why we're getting you to the hospital.
Am I going to be ok?
If I have anything to do with it, yes.
So how come you got a thing about blood?
It's just a minor anxiety disorder resulting from overexposure to a high-pressure environment.
Surgery.
(Nods) I was operating on a woman one day. Simple procedure. I went to see her in the ward beforehand. Her family were there; her husband, her sister and her son; and they were clinging to her. Wouldn't let go. Next time I saw her she was prepped and laid out before me on the operating table and I couldn't do it, I couldn't go on, it was like I was on tight rope and made the mistake of looking down. I haven't been able to operate since actually, which is a shame because it's the only thing I was ever any good at.
(About to perform life-saving surgery on Peter Cronk in the back of an ambulance)
I may vomit.
I heard the big chief was here.
How's the boy? No actually, tell his mother first - her name's...
APAdrian Pitts, Martin
(Together) Joy.
Yes, we do know the drill.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Doc Martin pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.