Caroline Bosman quotes from Doc Martin

(Interviewing the Doc on the radio) What was your first impression of our village?

Dr. Martin Ellingham

It's windy.

And the people?

Dr. Martin Ellingham

The people?

The people of Portwenn.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

What about them?

Well, the people of Portwenn are a rich and diverse culture - I bet you've been struck by certain individuals?

Dr. Martin Ellingham

It's early days yet.

Bert Large

(Listening to programme in the pub) Doc Martin'll see the funny side, he'll just go with the flow, you'll see.

Next caller. You are live...

Martin

(Phoning in to Caroline's radio programme) This is Doctor Martin Ellingham. I'd like to get a few things crystal clear for you and your puerile listeners. I admit to having certain difficulties but they have not and they never will impair my functions as a doctor. And for the record, the incident with a certain village plumber was in fact a prank with some ketchup which, by the way, kept me from attending to patients in my surgery.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

And as to so-called homeopathic remedies, if there's one for chronic infantilism then I suggest that your caller and indeed the entire village should embark on a course immediately. Thank you.

I wouldn't park there, love, if I were you.

(Angrily) Really? And if I were you, I wouldn't come out in daylight, love.

I don't drink any more than anybody else.

Dr. Martin Ellingham

Do you ever find yourself drinking first thing in the morning to steady your nerves or to get over a hangover?

No! Certainly not!

Dr. Martin Ellingham

Do you often find yourself get annoyed with people who observe or criticise your drinking?

(Angrily) That's it! I've had enough! Who the hell do you think you are asking inappropriate questions about something I have not even consulted you about?

Dr. Martin Ellingham

So that's a "yes", then, is it?