Louisa Glasson, to Martin after being watched by him: You've got a problem. (Switches seats.)
S1 E15Unfinished Business
You cross the line just once in Portwenn and ... will you stop that?
Is the vision a little blurred in that eye?
Yes.
Hmm. Fixed and semi-dilated pupil. Bit of pain?
Sometimes. What?
It's acute glaucoma.
You're kidding.
No. You should see an eye specialist today.
Are you Doc Martin?
No, no. I'm Doctor Ellingham.
I'm Elaine.
That must be nice for you.
Practice receptionist?
Oh. I'm not hiring yet.
I've come from Delabole!
Is that far?
I've come from Delabole? There's no point going and then coming back later. I may as well start now, innit.
(Elaine is ignoring the ringing telephone)
How are you feeling today? Any ringing in the ears?
(Answering phone) Ellingham?
(To Elaine)
It's for you.
I'm not here.
Elaine's not here.
Hang on. Is that Greg?
Are you Greg? Elaine for you.
(Whispers) I'm not talking to Greg.
(Elaine takes the telephone before Martin hangs up)
Yeah... Yeah... No! Look! You're needy and I'm 26, innit.
Any milk?
One spore or two?
What?
It had turned to penicillin. It's in the bin.
Hello? I need coffee!
Elaine, while you're here there are a few things to organise.
Like what?
A new exam couch for starters.
Wait!
(Starts taking notes)
A new exam couch. An examination light. A functioning sphygmomanometer.
What's that?
(Testily) It measures blood pressure. That should be it for the moment.
(Elaine hands him her notes)
"Milk, biscuits"?
While you're getting that other stuff. Oh, and Hello! magazine. Write it down.
I'm not your personal shopper, I want you to find me a medical equipment supplier.
Gilbert Spencer. Lieutenant-Colonel. Retired.
Martin Ellingham. Doctor. Practising.
Do you think it could be something to do with the water? There have been rumours.
I sincerely hope not, or we'll all be needing a bra.
The last time you were here you got a splinter in your finger on the beach and you cried.
I was seven.
You were eleven. And you wet the bed.
I always hoped you wouldn't grow up looking like your father but there you go. Are you stubborn as he is too?, yes course you are
I'll send the Large boys 'round, they'll fix up your plumbing. But I'll tell you this for nothing, no woman will ever fix up your plumbing if you go around looking that pale. You've need to eat.
Treat yourself to a noun.
Whose is this sodding dog?
The word you're searching for is stopcock.
Elaine, are you going to lend a hand here?
I can't work like this.
Well why don't you go home then?
Right. You(To Bert Large), hold that and shut up. You(To Al Large), get off the phone and find the stopcock and you(To Elaine Denham), either go back to Delabole, wherever that may be, and don't come back, or find a mop and work out how to use it! (to dog) and as for you.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Doc Martin pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.




