Dexter Morgan quotes from Dexter

Dexter

Morning.

Debra

So, that was a little weird last night.

Dexter

No – yeah – well, it was dark. My eyes hadn't adjusted. All I could see were shadows.

Debra

Well, please put those shadows out of your mind.

Lila

Are you gonna tell me how you're doing?

Dexter

I'm fine.

Lila

C'mon, Dex. Open up.

Dexter

I'm very fine?

Lila

What's going on inside your head? What are you thinking?

Dexter

I'm afraid we're done – you and I.

Lila

Serious? You're breaking up with me?

Dexter

Actually, I don't think I wanna answer any more questions.

Dexter

[thoughts] There it is. Like a gigantic white whale. My Moby Dick.

Angel

Man, this heat. I can't take it. I've gotta get in my car before I fucking melt.

Dexter

[thoughts] Which is exactly what needs to happen to my dearly departed friends.

Lila

I think you should give me another chance.

Dexter

There's nothing you can do to help me. It's not even you. It's me. I am who I am, and nobody's gonna change that.

Lila

Whatever you think you are – you don't have to be that.

Dexter

That's where you're wrong.

Lila

Stop judging yourself! There are no absolutes. No one's all good, or evil.

Dexter

You're just gonna have to trust me on this.

Lila

Jesus, Dexter, what are you so fucking scared of!? You make yourself into a monster so you no longer bear responsibility for what you do! "Ah, I can't help it, I'm a monster," or, "Of course I was gonna do that – I'm a monster." It's sad! And it's pathetic! And it breaks my heart.

Dexter

You don't think there are monsters in this world? You don't believe that people are evil?

Dexter

I'll show you evil.

Lila

It's ... incredible.

Dexter

But the person who did this –

Lila

Is a person just like me. Like you. We're all good, Dexter. And we're all evil.

Dexter

[thoughts] I thought I closed the door for anybody ever seeing me for who I am. But, this woman sees me. She doesn't know it, but she's looking behind the mask, and she's not turning away.

Dexter

[voiceover: "Who is the Bay Harbor Butcher?" This obsession with him is relentless. Just like Deb and that damn treadmill.] Deb, do you ever stop!?

Debra

Dexter! You're supposed to be at Rita's!

Dexter

Ah! Sorry! [hurriedly leaves]

Debra

Fuck.

Debra

[drinks coffee] Oh sweet Mary mother of fuck, that's good.

Dexter

Think you might have broken a commandment somewhere in there.

Debra

If dad taught us one thing, it's the value of human life.

Dexter

[voiceover] Yeah, but I think we had different homework assignments.

Dexter

My little sister, the cuddler.

Debra

I have a scalding hot beverage here, Dex, don't make me use it.

Lila

Where did you drift off to, anyway?

Dexter

I was having this bizarre dream about my mother.

Lila

Say no more. Oedipus complex, explains a lot.

Angel

[laying a hand on Dexter's shoulder; referring to the Bay Harbor Butcher] We've never been this close to this pendejo.

Dexter

[thoughts] Closer than you think, amigo.

Rita

I can do this more often now that my mom's in town. I feel like we're being bad.

Dexter

Bad. Bad is good.

Rita

Let the machine get it.

Lila

[on the answering machine] Hey, Dex, just calling to check in. Thought we could do the debriefing on dinner. I thought it went well, don't you?

Rita

Mmm I'd say so.

Lila

[on the answering machine] Rita's sweet, very Martha Stewart.

Dexter

I love Martha Stewart!

Lila

[on the answering machine] God, her mum, she's got quite the rod up her ass, doesn't she? By the way, I am such a twat. I can't believe I almost slipped up about your mum. Mind you, it could've been worse. I could've spilled the beans about our road trip.

Rita

Don't you dare!

Lila

[on the answering machine] Can you imagine Rita's face if I told her you and I spent the night together in a hotel?

Rita

You and Lila spent the night in a hotel together?!

Dexter

We had adjoining rooms!

Rita

Adjoining rooms? God, I am such an idiot. I can't believe I defended you to my mother while you were off sleeping with another woman!!

Dexter

Rita, wait!

Rita

I thought you were different than Paul, but you're the same. You know what, actually, you're worse. You made me trust you.

Dexter

Please just let me expl-

Rita

I've had it! I have been patient and understanding, but there's only so much I can take. You are a liar and a cheat, and I am through. It's over, Dexter! [storms out]

Doakes

You finally decided to fight back. I've been waiting.

Dexter

I hope you don't expect me to comment on that so you can record it on your hidden tape recorder. I wasn't born yesterday.

Doakes

You might have been, for hell I know. Your past is a bigger mystery than fucking Jimmy Hoffa. I tried every avenue, legal and otherwise, but there ain't no paper trail on the early years of Dexter Morgan.

Dexter

I guess there's no recorder running after all.

Doakes

No, man. Unlike you, I do everything out in the open.

Dexter

Well, in that case, sergeant, let me put this in the open for you. No matter what you try, no matter when, no matter how hard you work, I always be a step ahead of you for one simple reason.

Doakes

And what's that?

Dexter

I own you.

Debra

Who's the skank?

Dexter

Deb, did knocking occur to you?

Debra

Who is she? And are you trying to fuck her or set her on fire?

Dexter

Hey I didn't do this to you when you were riding square-jaw guy with the handcuffs