Dexter Morgan quotes from Dexter

Dexter

I'm Dexter, and I'm not sure what I am.

Hi, Dexter.

Dexter

I just know there's something dark in me. I hide it. Certainly don't talk about it. But it's there. Always. This ... Dark Passenger. How when he's driving, I feel ... alive. Half-sick with the thrill, complete wrongness. I don't fight him. I don't want to. He's all I've got. Nothing else could love me, not even ... especially not me. Or is that just a lie the Dark Passenger tells me? Because, lately, there are these moments that I feel connected to something else. Someone. It's like ... the mask is slipping, and things, people, that never mattered before, are suddenly starting to matter. It scares the hell out of me.

Dexter

What was it, the big scary ghost or the alligator?

Cody

No. The Bay Harbor Butcher.

Rita

Oh, honey.

Dexter

He would never hurt you. But I'll let you in on a secret. My sister Debra, who is a secret police agent ninja warrior, said he only kills bad people. And you're not a bad person, are you?

Cody

No.

Dexter

Then you're quite safe.

Rita

[talking about the "Bay Harbor Butcher"] It makes me so angry that there's some monster out there scaring my son.

Dexter

[uncomfortable] I gotta go to work.

Rita

You know, I hope they catch him today. And I'm not a violent person, but I hope they'll hurt him. Have a good day. [kisses Dexter goodbye]

Dexter

[voiceover] Make up your mind.

Dexter

Why are they eating each other?

Lila

Dunno. Ask them.

Lila

Do you like the heat?

Dexter

Um, not really. I'm partial to air conditioning.

Lila

Ah, I love it. Makes me feel like the whole world could explode at any moment.

Dexter

That's a pleasant thought.

Lila

So, if you're perfectly clean, why'd you call?

Dexter

I'm under a lot of ... pressure. At work. I was hoping you could maybe give me some quick tips on how to deal with the urges.

Lila

[amused] There are no quick tips.

Dexter

Oh. I see.

Dexter

I thought we were gonna get art supplies.

Lila

That's what we're doing. I work with found art.

Dexter

More like stolen art.

Dexter

Is that what a sponsor does on their first meeting?

Lila

I dunno. I've never sponsored anyone before.

Dexter

Really.

Dexter

You do realize that I work with the police department.

Lila

If we get caught, you can flash your badge.

Dexter

I don't have a badge – I have a laminate.

Lila

So, tell me. Why do you use?

Dexter

... Why? I dunno, it's just part of who I am.

Lila

And who are you?

Dexter

I'm, uh ... a bad person.

Lila

Haha. You haven't got the first idea who you are, have you? Dexter, meet Dexter. I'm gonna help the two of you get to know each other.

Dexter

Doesn't really seem necessary.

Lila

The first step to recovery is getting to know who you are.

Dexter

I thought the first step was admitting you have a problem.

Lila

And before you can accept who you are, you have to know who you are. So that's our first job. You're going to tell me all your deepest, darkest secrets.

Dexter

I've gotta get back. Dead body.

Lila

Humph. How many times have you used that one before?

What are you saying?

Doakes

I'm saying – asshole special ops. No doubt about it.

Dexter

Huh. They're generally known for settling their arguments peacefully.

Doakes

Don't get smug with me.

Sounds like we're in your world, James.

Doakes

Yeah, I'll take lead on this one.

I'm gonna need you to run some tests on this shirt.

Dexter

Is there blood?

No blood.

Dexter

I'm really the blood guy.

It's a smell. It smells like a woman.

Dexter

Which part?

Who can identify this for me?

Dexter

Yeah, that's really Masuka's area. He's definitely your man.

Thanks.

Dexter

[thoughts] I've always been good with parents. The key is to simply think of them as aliens from a distant universe.

Dexter

[thoughts] You have fibres and threads unknown to us. Your ancient customs intrigue me.

Gail

So, Dexter. Tell me everything there is to know about you.

Dexter

[thoughts] You have made me your sworn enemy, evil woman.

Gail

And I see a young man who is not eating.

Cody

I'm not hungry.

He's scared the Butcher's gonna get him.

Dexter

Remember, he only gets bad people.

Cody

I was bad today. I threw a ball at Tommy Albertez.

Dexter

Well, that's not too bad. And even if it was, the Bay Harbor Butcher doesn't hurt kids.

Cody

He doesn't?

Dexter

Nah. You're safe.

Rita

When are they gonna hurry up and catch this guy?

Dexter

They're working as hard as they can.

Gail

Well, if what I've heard is true, that he only goes after criminals, I say leave him alone. He's got my seal of approval.

Dexter

[thoughts] Perhaps I have misjudged you, oh wise one.