Is that the baby's head?
No, that's his foot.
That looks like a head to me.
Well, that settles it. When this baby's born, I'll be in charge of putting on the socks.
“They Asked Me Why I Believed In You” · Season 2
In this episode: Gabrielle Solis (4), Bree Van de Kamp (2), Susan Delfino (2), Edie Britt (2), Carlos Solis (2)
Well, I have some good news. The police have finally released Rex's body.
About time.
You must be so relieved.
You know, mostly I'm just annoyed that the whole thing happened in the first place. I mean, how in the world could anybody accuse me of murder?
Well, you are wound pretty tight. (everyone looks at her) What? The supermom is always first to snap. They've done studies.
Anyway, I was... I was hoping that you are were free Friday morning because that's when I'm going to be hosting the reburial.
The what?
Look, I know it's an imposition, but Danielle is away on a class trip, and Andrew is back at the Camp Hennessey for a little refresher course. Well, it's just gonna be a very brief and dignified ceremony and I was hoping that you could say a few words, and, um, I'm gonna read a poem.
We would love to come.
Absolutely.
(Bree stands up and leaves her seat, and Susan looks at Edie rushing her answer)
I'm busy. Sorry.
Edie!
She's going to read a poem!
(Susan kicks Edie under the table)
Ouch!! Fine! Yes, yes, we'd all love to come.
CCounselor
This is your third group session, but you have yet to share anything. Come on, talk to us. How's your marriage?
Shaky, at best.
CCounselor
And why is that?
I don't know. I hired a brilliant lawyer to get my husband out of this hellhole, and he fired him for no reason at all.
CCounselor
Carlos?
I just didn't like him.
Why not? He's experienced, he's intelligent, he's successful.
Exactly! I'd prefer an attorney you didn't find so damn appealing.
Oh, my god. You fired him because you're jealous?
Don't I have the right to? You know, she cheated on me.
(Bob, who was also there having a group session, gasps)
Oh, Bob. You beat your wife. You are so not allowed to gasp.
LLisa
Don't you talk that way to him!
One more word out of you, Lisa, and I will backhand you myself.
CCounselor
Okay, calm down.
Thousands of fat, bald attorneys out there in the world, and she's gotta get the one that looks like an underwear model.
I'm not discussing this anymore. You can rot in here for all I care.
CCounselor
So, um... Mona, what do you feel are the biggest problems in your marriage?
(interrupting) By the way, he was wearing a suit. How do you know he had a good body?!
Do you know?
No!
MSMona's Husband
I bet he's hot.
(everyone stops what they were doing)
MMona
Do I need to say what our biggest problem is, or can everybody figure it out for themselves?
My husband, the man I spent my life with for 18 years, died thinking that I murdered him.
What?
Yes, the cardiologist shared this moronic theory with Rex. And Rex believed him!
Are you sure?
Yes, because he left a note and it said, and I quote, 'Bree, I understand and I forgive you.' I spent 18 years of my life with this man. How could he not know me?
Well, maybe he was forgiving you for something else?
(exploding) I HAVE DONE NOTHING TO BE FORGIVEN FOR! I was a fantastic wife! When he was sick, I nursed him. When we were low on money, I stayed within a budget. I cooked his meals. I mended his clothes. For the love of god, I used to check his back for acne. And that miserable son of a bitch has the nerve to understand and forgive me? Well, the joke's on him, because I do not understand, and I do not forgive.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Desperate Housewives pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.