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S2

Desperate Housewives · Season 2

Counselor, Gabrielle and others in “They Asked Me Why I Believed In You”

CCounselor

This is your third group session, but you have yet to share anything. Come on, talk to us. How's your marriage?

Shaky, at best.

CCounselor

And why is that?

I don't know. I hired a brilliant lawyer to get my husband out of this hellhole, and he fired him for no reason at all.

CCounselor

Carlos?

I just didn't like him.

Why not? He's experienced, he's intelligent, he's successful.

Exactly! I'd prefer an attorney you didn't find so damn appealing.

Oh, my god. You fired him because you're jealous?

Don't I have the right to? You know, she cheated on me.

(Bob, who was also there having a group session, gasps)

Oh, Bob. You beat your wife. You are so not allowed to gasp.

LLisa

Don't you talk that way to him!

One more word out of you, Lisa, and I will backhand you myself.

CCounselor

Okay, calm down.

Thousands of fat, bald attorneys out there in the world, and she's gotta get the one that looks like an underwear model.

I'm not discussing this anymore. You can rot in here for all I care.

CCounselor

So, um... Mona, what do you feel are the biggest problems in your marriage?

(interrupting) By the way, he was wearing a suit. How do you know he had a good body?!

Do you know?

No!

MSMona's Husband

I bet he's hot.

(everyone stops what they were doing)

MMona

Do I need to say what our biggest problem is, or can everybody figure it out for themselves?

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