Look, maybe you better go, Joey. My verbal vomit's out of control today.
Joey
I know what you're going through Dawson. You're struggling to find answers. You want to know why she's cheating but it's all perception, Dawson. Let me just offer the one ounce of wisdom I can bring to this table. You know instead of asking why your mother's doing all these horrible things, may I suggest that you get down on your knees and thank God that you have a mother!
A week?! This can not last another week. It's inhumane. I don't sleep anymore, my legs are fat, my back is killing me, I feel like retching 23 hours a day... Did you know the average gestation period for the fruit bat is 2 months... 2 months, that's fair, that's reasonable. Why can't I give birth to a fruit bat?
Feel free to keep on walking. I won't think you're rude.
Joey
Look, despite first impressions, I'm not here to bust on you. I don't know if the rumors are true or exaggerated. Or if this is one of your bizarre attempts to appear more attractive to the senior girls. But I just wanted to say I know what you must be going through, and...
[laughs] No. I really doubt you know what I'm going through.
Joey
Well let me see. People stare at you when you walk down the hall, we've seen that. They whisper behind your back. You suddenly overhear your name in a conversation of strangers. And pretty soon a justifiable paranoia sets in and whether they are or not, you are convinced that everyone is talking about you. Imagine if you had done something even worse.
Like sharing a house with your pregnant unwed sister and her black boyfriend, while your father serves time on a drug conviction. Imagine that, Pacey. We actually have something in common... Providing gossip for the small-minded townsfolk. And unfortunately for you, you're tonight's top story.
[grabs the phone] Listen, you sorry ass civil servant. This is the mother-to-be talking. Maybe I'm not in the tax bracket that guarantees a prompt response to medical distress, but I have a shoe full of amniotic fluid, my pelvis is beating like a rumba band, and I'm in real danger of having my first-born child delivered by two high school students. So, why don't you stop making excuses, get off your oversized backside and get us an ambulance before my fetus enters college?
Joey
Terrific. I'm sure they will be right on their way.
You can't stand the idea that if a girl is choosing between two guys, she may not choose the romantic doofus who woos her with flowers and cheesy poems, you know? She just might choose the guy with the faster car or the bigger bicep or... the bigger joystick.
Anthony Michael Hall developed some weird thyroid condition, Molly Ringwald lost her gawky teen ingenue appeal, and the rest are languishing somewhere in TV obscurity.
No, a cliffhanger's purpose is to keep people interested. Keep them guessing what's going to happen in future episodes.
Joey
But just like in our own lives, they are so predictable. I mean, the producers put the characters in some contrived situation hoping that the audience will think something is going to change, but, you know what? It never does. Back to the same way it was before your so-called cliffhanger. It's boring Dawson.
Dawson's Creek · 557 quotes
Joey
