Original Cindy quotes from Dark Angel

(selling insurance over the phone) How much if you lost your what? What am I wearing? (hangs up on customer) Freak.

This is just one more reason I'm glad I'm a lesbian. We don't put ourselves through all this drama. After the second date, we move in together.

By the way, some of those black-helicopter storm-trooper folks stopped by, asking about a transgenic teenage killing machine. I said you were out.

Like Original Cindy always says, the night holds a million secrets.

Chicken pox? Thought that went out with Starbucks and Madonna.

Men, dogs -- no difference.

Trying to have a relationship with you, Max, is like standing in a fog bank. You know, you're right in the middle of something except you have absolutely no idea where you are.

And when the fog lifted, there was Darren with his head under Justine's skirt.

You're heterosexual. What's up with that?

Kendra

No clue.

Damn, girl, what's in those pills?

Max

Spinach.

[Herbal] was smoking a marijuana cigarette in the men's room.

Herbal Thought happens to be a Rastafarian. Ganja happens to be a sacrament in his religion.

It says right there in Genesis: "Thou shalt eat the herb of the fields."

Listen, if Herbal was nibbling leafy vegetables in the men's room I would give up my life defending his right to do so. But no, that's not the case. He was breaking the law of the land.

Funny how everything started to fall apart when you canned Herbal.

Oh, I get it. This is some sort of job slowdown. Ooh! Payback for me trying to operate a drug-free workplace.

A sacrament-free workplace is more like it.

Herbal

Normal said if I made two more runs before lunch, he going to make me employee of the week.

Oh, that's awful. Normal's really starting to terrify me.

For real.

If he's allowed to go unchecked, we are a heartbeat away from compulsory urine testing at Jam Pony.

Herbal

What would he be testing for?

Knowing Normal, probably flavor.

So how come you're all macked out like a playa playa?

The reason it's called a personal life is 'cause it's personal.

Here. Hot run, 930 Iliff. Beat it. Away you go.

Booty call.

Hey.

You got Original Cindy here.

Logan

Oh. Hey.

We already did that.

One thing you can say about Normal is at least he knows who he is.

A constipated, crusty, angry, rhythm-free, Republican white man?