Max quotes from Dark Angel

In defense of my gender women come into the world with a mission which is to make offspring. Men have to find a mission, create things. Um, space travel. Space travel, the carbureted bong. I personally know this guy who figured out a way to breathe through his anus by threading ordinary aquarium tubing inside his colon.

Max

You know what? I am beginning to think that Normal's right- you are an idiot.

Max

Just like I thought - it's that idiot in 12B. Where does he get off thinking he can jack our power on bath night?

Kendra

Says he needs it for his space heater so his cannabis crop doesn't die.

Kendra

Totally.

Max

Bruno?! I thought you were dead!

I thought you were dead.

Max

Sorry to disappoint.

Max

Oh, great. Now I need another bath.

I'm serious! I gotta call my kid.

Max

You actually have offspring? Is it considered Homo sapiens?

Logan

Just get him to the courtroom in one piece so he can talk.

Max

Does he need to have all his teeth?

Max

Excuse me. The gentleman I checked in with-

Your husband?

Max

Yeah. Do you know where he went?

I called him a cab. Where is my ten percent?

Max

Ten percent? Of what?

Either I get paid, or you don't work this hotel again.

Max

You puttin' the touch on the working girls? You think you deserve a piece of the action for sittin' here on your can, lookin' down your nose at them? I don't think so.

I can't breathe.

Max

I ever hear about you shaking down my sisters again, I'll come back here and slap you like the bitch that you are. Now where did my husband go?

Steel Pole Saloon, Eighth and Pender.

Logan

They got you good.

Max

I need to get my ass kicked once in a while. Just to keep me real.

Logan

These guys aren't going away, Max.

Max

Kinda pesky like that.

Logan

Max...

Max

You don't have to tell me to be afraid. I'm already there.

You must think I'm talking through my hat.

Max

Not unless you wear your hat on your ass.

Logan

I got a surprise for you... cover your eyes

Max

Is it a new carburettor? It is, isn't it.

Logan

No.

Max

Flowers? Jewellery?

Logan

Since when do you wear jewellery?

Max

I'm open to the idea!

Logan

It's not jewellery. Don't peek.

Max

I'm not!

Max

You called me, right? You remembered my number.

Zack

It's not the same.

Max

Yes, you can do it if you try.

Zack

No, it's different with you. I mean, how could I forget... a single thing about you? How could I?

Max

Eyes Only just made himself another enemy.

Logan

Well, it was getting a little quiet around here.

Logan

An X5 assassin in a family way.

Max

How’d it happen?

In the usual manner, I suspect.

Max

Sounds like Manticore’s gotten its swerve on since my day.

It's gonna run out before they get to us.

Max

Will you stop?

I really need new shoes, man.

Max

Uh, Sketchy, this line's for gas.

I know. Sky said if I score him a couple gallons of premium, he'd give me a pair of bike tires. Hey, no cutting!

Max

I thought you wanted shoes.

Sky doesn't have shoes. Herbal has shoes.

Max

So you're gonna trade him the tires for the shoes.

Herbal doesn't need tires. He needs a waffle iron for his lady. Original Cindy needs tires.

Max

And Original Cindy has a waffle iron.

No, Normal has a waffle iron. He's gonna swap Original Cindy for some lingerie so she can give it to Herbal for the tires Sky's giving me for the gas, which is how I'm getting my shoes.

Max

Nice. What does Normal want with lingerie?

I'm a businessman. I don't ask questions.

Triptophan... I'll get you some milk.

Max

How did you know?

My aunt's a doctor. She doesn't just give you a glass of milk when you can't sleep- she tells you why it's gonna work.

Max

If I'd known this was gonna be an Eyes Only wilderness retreat, I wouldn't have come.

Logan

So I'm just supposed to let him get away with it?

Max

You can't right every wrong.

Logan

You've got to at least try.

Max

Whatever. Go talk to your source. This girl's gonna kick back, make S'mores, and relax.

Logan

Fine. I'll be back later.

Max

Don't hurry.

Logan

[glaring at her on his way out] Have fun. Because that is the most important thing.

Max

I'll try. Even though I'll be wracked by guilt since I don't have enough to share with every single person on this planet.