Sheldon Hawkes quotes from CSI: NY

Hey Mac. Bet you a cup of coffee this is the most interesting crime scene you'll go to all week.

Mac Taylor

You sound confident, obviously you know something I don't.

[To Sheldon] You wanna tell him?

Sheldon Hawkes

No, please.

Alright. [To Mac] You had to guess, how old do you say our victim is?

Mac Taylor

Late seventies, early eighties maybe.

Doc.

Sheldon Hawkes

Mid thirties would be closer to the truth.

Mac Taylor

[Snorts] What?

Sheldon Hawkes

Yeah... and he's a woman. [Takes off mask from vic]

[smirking] I like my coffee black, no sugar.

I'm throwing a party and was wondering if you wanted to come by.

Sheldon Hawkes

Babe, didn't we almost just die?

Why do you think I'm throwing a party?

Jo Danville

Danny, check your schedule. You'll receive a 'must appear' for Wednesday.

Sheldon Hawkes

I can cover your cases for you if you have any deadlines.

Danny Messer

Ah, thanks, Doc (To Lindsay) You weren't even gonna offer, were you?

Lindsay Monroe

Solve your own damn cases.

Adam Ross

I can't wait to get married.

Mac Taylor

We processed this thing when the crime occurred and we never got a second donor. Why would it be different now?

Sheldon Hawkes

Well, I used a different genetic analyzer. Every instrument varies in sensitivity. If I ran it through a third one might not pick it up but this one did. Machines. Sometimes there's no rational explanation for why they do what they do.

Adam

(Handing over money) 20... 40... 60.

Hawkes

Yes. Whoo-hoo! Pleasure doing business with you.

Adam

Yeah. Anybody ever tell you that money cannot buy you happiness?

Hawkes

Ah, you want to bet?

Hawkes

Hey, Mac... results on the smudge Sid collected from the victim's face.

Mac

(Reading from the screen) Ink, glass cleaner, mineral oil... auto degreaser.

Hawkes

Yeah. I'm not sure what it means, either.

Mac

You get the name of the tattoo parlor this lotion came from?

Hawkes

Mac... you haven't been gone so long that we've forgotten how to do this.

Hawkes

Let you in on a little secret?

Jo

Hmm.

Hawkes

I used to do this when I was younger.

Jo

Really?

Hawkes

Yeah.

Jo

You, Dr. Sheldon Hawkes?

Hawkes

Oh, it just feels like a lifetime ago, but, oh, yeah.

Lindsay

I got good news and bad news, Sheldon. Good news is, this fiber looks like something Adam pulled off Pete Miller's clothing.

Hawkes

What's the bad news?

Lindsay

It means I can't work this case anymore.

Lindsay

If you find the gun, it will clear Officer Cooper.

Hawkes

Clears them all.

Lindsay

Well, not necessarily. I mean, even if you close this case today, it's still an embarrassment for the department. They're still gonna want to point the finger at somebody.

Hawkes

For what?

Lindsay

You have any idea how many administrative regulations there are, Sheldon? I do, 'cause I stayed up all night reading about them.

Hawkes

Look, Lindsay, I know you're worried, okay? But we're scientists, and there's no empirical evidence to suggest Internal Affairs is on a witch hunt.

Lindsay

Well, I hope you're right.

Mac

So, there were two guns. Pete Miller used one of them. Friends must have taken it when they fled.

Hawkes

Flack's trying to track 'em down, but all he has is the cops' descriptions to go by. No luck so far.

Mac

There's one thing I bet the friends didn't take when they ran.

Hawkes

Hmm?

Mac

The bullet Pete fired.

Hawkes

GSR field test came back positive.

Adam

Means the victim had a gun.

Hawkes

Maybe. Officer Cooper told Danny that she checked the victim's vitals after shooting him.

Adam

Maybe the GSR transferred from her hands to his.

Hawkes

Nothing's ever easy.

Sid

I've seen you put a slug together with less.

Hawkes

Somebody left a doggie bag in the trash bin outside.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! If that's what I think that is, don't open that in here.

Hawkes

It's not that kind of doggie bag, Flack.