Danny Messer quotes from CSI: NY

Jo

Who catalogs every plant in Central Park?

Danny

I'm guessing single guy, no kids.

Danny

You ever see me rip up a check for 50 grand, do me a favor and shoot me.

Mac

Consider it done.

Hawkes

Hey, never get Lucy a cell phone.

Danny

She's only five, Doc.

Hawkes

I mean, never ever. I went through Ellen White's cell. There were 500 texts from this week alone.

Danny

Wow. Anything out of the ordinary?

Hawkes

No, just a lot of IMHOs and FTWs.

Adam

Messer, you got to do me a favor and tell your wife to back off, okay? 'Cause I didn't do it. Okay, and I don't like being accused of things I didn't do when I didn't do it because I didn't do it, okay?

Danny

That make any sense to you?

Hawkes

Yeah, he didn't do it.

Danny

Hey, babe, what'd you do to Adam?

Lindsay

(To Danny and Hawkes, revealing she's been pranked as she has blue ink ring around her eyes) Don't think that you two aren't suspects.

Danny

Seriously, babe, how long you planning on wearing those sunglasses?

Lindsay

Till I don't look like I'm a member of the Blue Man Group.

Danny

How does a whisker from a giant snow leopard in the Central Park Zoo end up on a dead body halfway across town?

I'm the primary zookeeper for the snow leopards.

Danny

So, does anyone else interact with them?

They can be temperamental animals. Anybody gets in that cage without proper training, that's when limbs start getting ripped off.

Lindsay

You got some hot date I don't know about?

Danny

Yeah, taking my wife out to dinner tonight.

Lindsay

Oh, what's the occasion?

Danny

You don't need an occasion to take your wife out to dinner, do you?

Lindsay

It was you. I knew it. I said it was you.

Danny

Adam was supposed to be in Ballistics, not you.

Lindsay

Then why didn't you tell me.

Lindsay

So it was Messer in Ballistics.

Danny

With methylene blue. Do you forgive me?

Danny

It's almost gone.

Lindsay

This better be some dinner.

Jo

Oh, let me guess. Life is not measured by the breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away.

Danny

That's close. It's actually: 'where my party, p-party, party, p-party people at?' It's Nelly.

Jo

That would have been my second guess.

Danny

Bet you're not loving the fact that you're the one with the surgeon's hands around here, are you?

Hawkes

Don't get me started.

Petty theft, armed robbery, burglary.

Danny

You were pinched five years ago for third-degree robbery. You're out of prison for a week and you're already back at it?

I don't know what you guys are talking about.

I'll paint you a picture.

It's a pretty good theory.

A theory supported by the fact that we have your blood on our victim's watch.

Danny

Theory sound more like fact now?

Danny

(Faking an English accent) I'd like a martini, shaken, not stirred.

Lindsay

Yeah, and preferably one with ethanol.

Danny

Not that I don't like an excuse to come see you, babe, but what's up?

Danny

So this is a modern-day bootlegging operation going on.

Lindsay

Yeah, only during Prohibition people were so desperate they were drinking pure ethyl alcohol. That's like swigging aftershave.