Danny Messer quotes from CSI: NY

Danny

Mac's got me poring over Manny Hinde's case files. Which I actually like to call 50 Shades of Sleazebag.

Lindsay

It's better than running ballistics on a bullet with no ballistics.

Danny

How are you supposed to do that?

Lindsay

Exactly.

Danny

Oh, so that's the Guardian Angel.

Jo

So he says.

Danny

Yeah, ten million bucks is chump change for that guy.

Adam

Yeah, right? He probably spends that on hair gel.

Danny

B and E, burglary. Just finished a three-year stint for assault with a deadly weapon.

Lindsay

Well, looks like a deadly weapon just assaulted him back. I checked with the E.R. doctor. He has first degree burns on his fingers, multiple lacerations on his face.

Danny

Well, shouldn't be hard to spot once we find him.

Danny

Lunch at Lawson's says my results come up first.

Jo

Dinner, Grimaldi's.

Danny

You're on.

What law is there that says a guy can't be a little peeved?

Danny

Did he just say 'peeved'?

Adam

We gotta check every floor?

Danny

No, no. We're not gonna check every floor. If you'd do your homework and read the reports, Adam, Sid's autopsy suggests that our vic fell somewhere between the sixth and tenth floors.

Adam

You didn't read Sid's autopsy.

Danny

Nah, I didn't read it. But Mac filled me in.

Lindsay

Danny, I'm pregnant.

Danny

What? Are you being serious with me right now?

Lindsay

Yes. I've thrown up twice today. I've taken four pregnancy tests, and they were all positive.

Danny

Really? Really?

Lindsay

Lucy's gonna be a big sister.

Danny

We're having a baby!

Danny

They shot him and took his BMW.

Paulie never drove a car like that in his entire life. He drove a piece of crap van. Now, who would kill someone over that?

Jackpot.

Danny

Jack cheese, maybe.

What?

Danny

Think we just made the largest cheese bust in NYPD history, buddy.

Hawkes

Low-moisture, part-skim mozzarella. Same stuff they use on pizza.

Danny

If you had told me this morning we'd be investigating a cheese murder, you know what I would have said?

Hawkes

Please don't.

Danny

No whey.

Hawkes

Thought I said don't.

Hawkes

Does that part of the floor look cleaner than the rest?

Danny

Yeah, since when does someone clean a dump like this?

Hawkes

(Sprays it with luminol) When they've spilled a lot of blood.

Danny

DNA came back on the tongue. Belongs to a male.

Jo

Oh, thank God.

Danny

Whoa, Whoa, Whoa.

Lindsay

Hey.

Danny

Where's the fire at?

Lindsay

Ah.. I gotta go find Jo. Our case just got turn on it's head.

Danny

Are you serious? Does that mean we're not able to go to dinner tonight?

Lindsay

Will you shut up. I know that you hate Valentine's Day.

Danny

I don't hate Valentine's Day. I think its stupid to spend a fortune on some fancy meals just because everybody else does.

Lindsay

Well now, you don't have to. Okay, consider that my gift to you.

Danny

But I promise we'll celebrate tonight. Okay?

Lindsay

Okay. See you at home (pause) eventually.

Lindsay

Do you remember the last time we have five minutes to ourselves?

Danny

(rubbing Lindsay's feet) Um...Thursday in the A.V. Lab. Had a fantastic time then Adam came!

Lindsay

Seriously! I mean with Lucy and work I just feel like I don't see you anymore. And it's gonna get a lot harder!

Danny

It's also gonna get a lot better! (puts his hand on Lindsay's stomach) There's my little boy!

Lindsay

Well, Lucy's now asleep, work's finished so...(toys with her hair) You know...(raises her eyebrows suggestively)

Danny

I told you there'd be time to celebrate! (as he leans in to kiss her)

(from her bedroom) Mommy! Mommy! Come quick! There's a vampire under my bed!

Lindsay

(bursts out laughing)

Danny

(sighs) I got her! (he gets up from the couch with Lindsay still laughing)