CSI: Crime Scene Investigation quotes

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Season 4
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David [to Greg]: So, how was your run?
Greg: I'm still alive.

Doc Robbins: Dismembering an adult male with this much precision and without cutting through the bone. 12 hours minimum.
Catherine: Half of a day. That's patience.
Doc Robbins: The, uh, patella was cleanly removed. And with one slice, the femur was separated from the tibia and the fibula. There's a perverse elegance to this butchery.
Catherine: Well, I'm not so sure I see it that way. A killer with knowledge of anatomy whose tool is a scalpel. I think that the butcher was a doctor.

Doc Robbins: Well, the race isn't the only reason these guys come to town. It's a good party.
Grissom: Too much running, too much partying?
Doc Robbins: L.A. S-E-S. They go all out.
Grissom: Work hard, play hard, die young, leave a good-looking corpse.

Fromansky: Someday, you're going to need me or my buddies at a scene... and wouldn't you know it, we all hit traffic on the way.
Grissom: Is that how you do your job, officer?
Fromansky: Have a safe night.

Greg: Everyone but the little guy was gettin' high and gettin' by. Daughter was on uppers, Mom's on downers and Grandma was on the cancer stick.
Catherine: Ritalin, Valium and Grandma's a liar.
Greg: Pants on fire.

Greg: Grissom, I have some information that'll be of a use to you but before you get it, I need a decision.
Grissom: What?
Greg: I'm tired of being on the fence here. Either I'm in the lab or I'm in the field. Which is it?
Grissom: Well, as soon as you can find and train a replacement, you can be in the field. Until then I need you in the lab. Now give.
Season 5

Greg: I found something a little unusual for a roller coaster. Not a sailor but a...
Sara: Semen. Sex on the roller coaster?
Greg: Or some kid shaking hands with Shorty.
Grissom: The release of epinephrine and adrealine while riding a roller coaster can produce a stimlatory effect. It enhances ejaculation.
Greg: Right.

Greg: I understand why all these cadets are here. They have to be. But what's up with all these off-duty cops?
Catherine: Chance to be a hero. Girl's beautiful. These guys don't get many chances.
Greg: For what?
Catherine: To rescue a princess.

Greg: No she didn't.
Sara: Greg, she told Warrick she put peanut butter in the chili.
Greg: I don't care if Mr. Peanut was taking a bath in the vic's lunch. It's not what killed him.

Greg: So I ran the blood you found on the gun through CODIS... on my own time... of which I have precious little...
Grissom: Greg, why do you always trail off like that?
Greg: Because you make me nervous.

Greg: The gods of CODIS have blessed us with a hit.

Grissom (to Craig after he doesn't say anything about letting Adam choke): Out of words?

Grissom: Here comes the press. You're on. I wish I could help but I got a vehicle to process.
Sheriff Atwater: C'mon, Grissom. Bomb goes off and everyone thinks it's a hit. What do you think?
Grissom: I'm not thinkin'. I'm lookin'.
Sheriff Atwater: That's good. Can I use that?

Grissom: I thought that Nick was the best candidate for the position.
Sara: Why?
Grissom: Because he didn't care whether he got the job or not.
Sara: That's a stupid reason.

Grissom: Linens and towels from The Sphere on top of the washing machine, and what I believe to be sheets from the motel inside the dryer. Both positive presumptive for blood.
Nick: Think they were being smart taking the sheets, or did they just get off sleeping on 'em?
Warrick: Either way, they were sick and dangerous.
Grissom: What does that say about whoever killed them?