Mike Keppler quotes from CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Hear you got one of the fastest growing murder rates in the country.

Jim Brass

Yeah, we're very competitive. Is that a Philly accent I hear?

Trenton, born and bred.

Jim Brass

My condolences. I'm from Newark.

Warrick Brown

You trying to do a geographic profile of your serial?

Yeah, most of these guys tend to operate out of one place. In theory, as the killer gets more and more comfortable with each act, the locations of the bodies should spiral outward from one central point.

Warrick Brown

I'll tell 'ya one thing your dump sites do have in common.

What's that?

Warrick Brown

When the bodies were found in the location they were at the time had the highest crime rate in the city.

Smart. Your crime center sure seems to move around here a lot, huh?

Warrick Brown

Well, in Vegas, new is old in five years, old is history in ten, and nothing ever seems to leave a mark.

Sounds refreshing.

Al Robbins

I reviewed that, uh, Jane Doe autopsy from '75.

That was fast.

Al Robbins

Well I'm sure the original examination was too. M.E. was a hack named Sam Bernard. He, uh, retired a little while after I started. Once saw him do a Y with a scalpel in one hand and a hot dog in the other.

Take it he wasn't known for his, uh, rigorous analysis.

Al Robbins

He was known for liking hot dogs.

Catherine

[Referring to faking a crime scene] I'm not used to faking it.

[Smirking] When's the last time you had to?

Catherine

I grew up in this town, I know all about playing the odds, you are gambling with my team.

We talked about the risks going in, it's not like we can quit now.

Catherine

I'm not quitting, but I don't like it. And I hate lying to my guys.

Sara

Hi. What are you doing?

Just looking.

Sara

What do you think?

Meticulous. Obsessive. Clearly knows his way around a modeling kit.

Sara

Grissom didn't make those.

No? Hmm. Fits the profile. Bugs in bottles, Darwin desk set.

Sara

He's a bit of a collector of certain things.

Yeah, I knew a guy in Philly like that. Kept a case of thumbs in his closet.

Sara

Friend of yours?

No, serial killer.

Sara

Do you miss it?

What?

Sara

Philly.

No.

Wendy

I said "How do you feel about butt implants?"

You don't need them?