Catherine Willows quotes from CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Grissom

Bones are porous. They stick to the tongue (puts piece in mouth again) and this doesn't stick. (puts it back down) It's a piece of rock.

Catherine

I-I hope you had your hepatitis B shot. (Grissom gets up and starts searching for more bones, Catherine follows) Did you? (Cuts to Grissom and Catherine walking toward a cadet, who may have found a piece of bone)

Grissom

Could be a piece of wrist bone.

Catherine

Well, do you want to suck on it? To be sure?

Catherine

So, are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Grissom

How amazing the universe is. Everything made from the same carbon, stars to trees, trucks to human bones.

Catherine

Uh, no, I was thinking that we have about 100 bone fragments. We could ID this body before the end of the shift.

Grissom

Hmm.

Catherine

Stars and trucks?

Catherine

(About a bone that was found in the desert) Well, it is a leg bone and my guess is that it didn't walk out here by itself.

Grissom

It could have been a hiker who got lost. It's interesting to me how you always expect the worst.

Catherine

You see, that way I'm never disappointed. And sometimes I'm nicely surprised. So, is this a crime scene?

Grissom

Potential crime scene. Did you know there are 206 bones in the human body?

Grissom

Well, 205 more bones and we have a complete skelton. If we find the rest then we can determine if or if not it was a murder.

Catherine

Well, I feel it in everyone of my 206 bones that this was a murder.

Catherine

419 at The Sphere, glass elevator. You're on it.

Warrick

This is a big case. I'm in a groove here.

Catherine

Well, groove on down to the Strip.

Warrick

Whatever happened to "You cross the tape, you go the distance"?

Catherine

I was probably saying that to get you to service my needs at the time.

Catherine

You want to take that thing off your head, Greg? It's evidence.

Greg

Cool your jets, Cath. I already got all the evidence out of it. Now, it's all woman. Did you ever wear one of these when you were dancing?

Catherine

I wore nothing but skin.

Greg

Ooh.(standing behind Greg is Grissom. Catherine sees Grissom and clears her throat. Greg turns around and finds himself face to face with Grissom. He takes the headpiece off of his head and reports) I, uh, compared the DNA from the tooth with hair follicles found inside the headdress. I think we have a match, sir. And I think we may have a homicide. Excuse me. (Greg steps back into his lab. Catherine suppresses a grin and looks at Grissom)

Nick

(laughing) Marco? (Warrick dives under the water and gets the evidence and comes back up)

Warrick

Polo.

Nick

(teasing) You want to get out of there, sir? Pool closed at sundown.

Catherine

(joining in on teasing) Can I get you a towel, sir? (Warrick gets out of the pool)

Warrick

(dryly): Yeah, please.

Sara

This Chilean sea bass is excellent.

Catherine

So is this.

Sara

Okay, you got your missing widow. Her bloody tooth found in her own

Hi. Do you need a hand with that?

Grissom

Uh... no, thanks. I'll be fine.

Are you a doctor?

Grissom

Of sorts. I'm just, um... looking around.

See anything you like?

Grissom

Catherine? (he opens the box and it play music) Tchaikovsky's "Waltz of the Flowers". (he looks underneath the music box and grins)

Catherine

What? Why are you smiling?

Catherine

Well, according to her credit card records Portia Richmond hasn't spent a dime since she's been in the Mediterranean.

Sara

She's dead.

Catherine

Not necessarily. She may have been... swept off her feet.

Nick

Some guys still like to foot the bill.

Sara

Really? How would you know?

Nick

Hey, I only go dutch if girls ask the wrong question.

Catherine

What's that?

Nick

"What do you drive?"

Sara

It's a honest question.

Nick

No it's not. What it means is "how much do you make so you can take care of me".

Grissom

The Old Testament? The book of Jonah? And the Lord arranged for a fish to swallow up Jonah. You know what the problem with the piranha, though? They have high cholesterol.

Catherine

Cholesterol is found in humans, not fish. So how does a fish acquire human cholesterol?

Catherine

Caught in the act.

Grissom

I think that was the point.

Catherine

Oh yeah.

Eddie

...By taking our daughter to dinner.

Catherine

Get over here.

Eddie

Come on, what? What?

Catherine

Just so pathetic.

Eddie

What?

Catherine

Just so pathetic.

Eddie

Watch it, Cath.

Catherine

Sucking up to our daughter 'cause I caught you robbing me.

Eddie

The only thing I ever robbed you of was good sex.

Catherine

No sex is worth you and you are not taking my daughter to a club with one of your music whores.

Eddie

Oh they are whores? When I met you, you were taking your clothes off in a strip club.

Catherine

It was a job Ed and it supported you just like every job I had, including this one.

Eddie

And who paid you to close up your nose?

Grissom

Let go of her.

Grissom

Catherine?

Catherine

Just keep him out of here.

Grissom

[to Eddie] I don't wanna ever see you in this building again. This is our place of business, you understand?

Eddie

I always knew you two had a thing.

Grissom

Go home Eddie.

Eddie

Sure.

Grissom

I think our robbery suspect just became our homicide victim

Catherine

Well that's one way to avoid the rap.

Catherine

(annoyed) Am I almost at "ground zero"?

Almost. About ten more feet. Uh, then you should be in the laundry room. You should have more headroom, too.

Catherine

I feel like I'm crawling through a straw! (Groans as she passes through a small gap and the construction worker closes his eyes in pleasure the Catherine notices a beetle) Sweet!

What? What is it?

Catherine

Are you getting this?

What is that? A roach?

Catherine

I'm not an entomolygist but (swivels round to a more comfertable position) I know one! He can tell us! (the building starts falling some more so she covers her head forgetting she has a hardhat on) Ahh! (looks up at the "ceiling") I thought you said this building was secure!

It is secure. Just hang on. The daily "sorties". I think it was an F-16!

Catherine

Nellis Air Force Base!