“Physical Education” quotes from Community

Abed

What are you reading?

Annie

Pride and Prejudice.

Abed

So you're familiar with two sins... how about a third?

Shirley

Ooh! [Everyone leans in closer as Abed pulls out a cigarette case.]

Annie

I don't think we're allowed to smoke in here.

Abed

Well, then you picked the wrong outfit, didn't you.

Shirley

Abed, what are you doing?!

Abed

Don Draper from Mad Men. What did you think?

Britta

Weird.

Awesome.

Pierce

Put your tongue in her ear.

Annie

I liked it.

Abed

The truth is lots of girls like me because, let's face it, I'm pretty adorable, and, uh, my aloofness unconsciously reminds them of their fathers, so... I'm more used to them approaching me.

Britta

So we didn't damage your self-esteem or anything?

Abed

Britta, I've got self-esteem falling out of my butt. That's why I was willing to change for you guys. When you really know who you are and what you like about yourself, changing for other people isn't such a big deal.

Jeff

Abed, you're a god.

Jeff

What are you guys doing?

Abed

They're teaching me how to be someone else.

Jeff

Oh, for God's sake, what did I tell you guys?

Abed

[doing a Jeff impression] Oh, for God's sake everybody, do whatever you want! Leave each other alone!

Whoa! That is a good Jeff! How did you do that?

Abed

10% Dick Van Dyke, 20% Sam Malone, 40% Zach Braff from Scrubs, 30% Hilary Swank in Boys Don't Cry.

Jeff

[disappointed] Zach Braff...

Abed

Sorry.

Abed

The truth is lots of girls like me because, let's face it, I'm pretty adorable, and, uh, my aloofness unconsciously reminds them of their fathers, so... I'm more used to them approaching me.

Britta

So we didn't damage your self-esteem or anything?

Abed

Britta, I've got self-esteem falling out of my butt. That's why I was willing to change for you guys. When you really know who you are and what you like about yourself, changing for other people isn't such a big deal.

Jeff

Abed...you're a god. If you'll all excuse me, I have a man to beat in pool while wearing shorts.

Is that code for going number one or number two?

Britta

Abed, you've inspired me too. People can mock me all they want. I don't care how I say the word "baggle".

Abed

"Baggle."