Hey, yo clerks! You- [slips on soda on the floor and falls] I think that stuff just kicked in, Silent Bob.
Show us on the doll where they touched you!
Nobody touched me.
Who was it? There's no hiding from your past! Who touched you?
I hate you.
[Randal addresses an all African-American jury of professional basketball players.]
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Dante Hicks is just like you: he looooves Grape Soda. He knows what it's like when the guy behind the counter won't take your "food stamps." He knows what it's like to wait all month for your "welfare check."
[Randal calls Dante at 7:59 to tell him he can take care of the Quick Stop by himself.]
[sleepily] Just call if you need anything.
[on the phone] Oh, like that'll happen.
[Dante hangs up the phone the clock turns to 8:00. The phone rings. Dante Picks up the phone and hears glass breaking and screaming.]
Hello?!
Umm...hello.
What's all that racket?!
That's..the..TV.
AGAngry Guy on phone
I'm gonna burn this place to the ground and pee pee on the ashes!!
DPDante[Panicky]
Oh my God, who's that?!
That...that's Regis.
AGAngry Guy
Who are you talking to, BOY?!! [more glass breaking] Answer me!!!
AGAngry Guy 2
Maybe he'll answer to this!
[chainsaw revs up and more screaming is heard]
Randal!
Maybe you better get down here.
Hey, are you the biggest idiot ever?
No, you are.
Okay, this isn't a dream then.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Clerks: The Animated Series pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.