Look how scared he is. He's shaking.
No, he's masturbating.
Yeah, but it's out of fear.
“Leonardo Is Caught In The Grip Of An Outbreak Of Randal's Imagination And Patrick Swayze Either Does Or Doesn't Work In The New Pet Store” · Season 1, Episode 3
In this episode: Dante (3), Major Baklava (3), Randal (2), Silent Bob (1)
(The Chief of Police, dressed as the McDonald's character Officer Big Mac, is holding a press conference about the deadly Mutaba Virus)
SDSteve-Dave
Will this administration ever bring the Hamburglar to justice?
CPChief of Police
No!... Yes... Look, does anyone have a question about the deadly virus that could kill us all?
MRMale Reporter
Could the virus kill the Grimace?
CPChief of Police
Nothing can kill the Grimace.
NNarrator
Owing to the recent lawsuit by Dustin Hoffman over alleged unofficial use of his likeness, the part of Dustin Hoffman in Randal's mental calculations will be played by... Al Pacino!
Oh my God, it's happening! Just like in that (AL PACINO) movie!
Follow me to the Command Center.
This is just a coffee machine.
(annoyed) Welcome to the Command Center!.
Okay then. Other than watching you die, there's really nothing else we can do here.
No, I know there's no virus, because you think there is. Name me one time you've been right about anything.
RRandall
What about that time I said "there's two great jobs down at the Block of Stores? Excellent pay, huge opportunities for advancement, we'll do it for six months and then move on"? [Realizes] Oh, my God! You're right, I'm always wrong!
SBStealth Bomber Pilot
Now hold on a second there, Dante. Sometimes, it's hard not to be gay.
[After Dante has saved the town by reluctantly (and fraudulently) admitting that he's gay]
Way to go, you beautiful gay bastard!
[After he and Jay both beat Charles Barkley senseless]
WE do the "Science Sez" segments. GOT IT?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Clerks: The Animated Series pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.