Chuck quotes

412 total quotes

All Seasons  
Season 1
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Morgan: A relationship is built on trust, Chuck. Sex and trust. Am I right?
Chuck: Yeah, yeah, two big prerequisites I guess.

Morgan: Because tonight Chuck Bartowski is boldly going where none of us have gone before...To have intercourse with a beautiful woman.
Anna: Speak for yourself.
[Everyone stares at Anna]

Morgan: Chuck, I know what a third wheel is. I know it's me. Give, give me a chance here, man. Let, let me be a fourth wheel. For once. Or maybe I can be any other even number.

Morgan: Chuck, we have an emergency. We need to talk.
Chuck: I'm on the phone.
Morgan: Shh, not here, not here; there are spies at the Buy More.
Chuck: [hangs up the phone] Spies, really?
Morgan: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tang's minions, they're everywhere! He's like the dark Lord Sauron from Lord of the Rings. Only instead of the ring of power he's taken over control of the assistant manager-ship.
Chuck: Yeah, from me, right thanks for the reminder.
Morgan: You got it, man. Listen we need your help, Chuck.
Chuck: Me, what am I suppose to do? I'm just...
Morgan: One small hobbit? So thought Frodo Baggins, my friend; so thought Frodo Baggins!

Morgan: I'll let myself out.
Ellie: ...My four favorite words.

Morgan: Stop the presses! Who is that!? Vicky Vale!
Chuck: Vicky Vale, Vi- Vicky Vale, Vickity Vickity, Vicky Vale, Vi- Vicky Va...
[sees Sarah]
Sarah: I hope I'm not interrupting.
Chuck: Uh no, not at all. That's from-it's from Batman.
Sarah: Because that makes it better?
Morgan: Ahh, Hi. Hey, I'm Morgan. And this is, uh, this is Chuck.
Sarah: Wow, I didn't think people still named their kids Chuck. Or, uh, Morgan, for that matter.
Chuck: My parents were sadists, and carnival freaks found him in a dumpster.
Morgan: But they raised me as one of their own.

Morgan: This is just getting a little personal.
Casey: Right, new tactic. You finish the story or I put your head through the wall.
Morgan: Okay, someone wasn't hugged enough as a child.

Morgan: What happened, Chuck? You used to be cool.
Chuck: I used to be cool? When, when was that? When we were 13? Well, I hate to go changing on you, buddy, but if you hadn't noticed we are now, chronologically speaking, adults. So, unless you want to work retail for the rest of your life and, by the way, drag me down with you in the process, I would suggest that you grow up!

Sarah: [about the antidote] Here!
Chuck: No, no it's for Ellie.
Sarah: No, I'm sorry, Chuck, there's no debate. It has to be you. You're the Intersect.
Chuck: I won't take it knowing that Ellie will die without it; that both of you have been poisoned too!
Casey: You're a good person, Chuck, and I respect that, but I have a job to do, so take it before I shove it down your throat!
Chuck: Okay, okay. Fine, fine I'll do it.
Sarah: Thank you.
Chuck I'll pretend to agree to take it and then I'll run like hell to my sister's room, and make her take it. Why did I just say that out loud?
Sarah: It's the poison. It makes you tell the truth!
Casey: You do that, I'll give chase, put a gun to your head, threaten to pull the trigger if you don't take it!
Chuck: Would you really shoot me?
Casey: No.
Chuck: Yeah, don't waste a bullet, we're already dead!

Sarah: [to Bryce] Why Chuck?
Chuck: Yeah! Why Chuck?

Sarah: Chuck's not wrong very often.
Casey: But he's annoying all the time.

Sarah: Come any closer and I shoot!
Casey: ...You shoot him, I shoot you, I leave both your bodies here and go out for a late night snack. I'm thinking maybe pancakes.

Sarah: Ellie are you sure you're okay?
Ellie: It's just that, I have both feet in and Devon has only one foot in. So then, it's just me taking care of three feet and I want it to be us, you know, taking care of four feet. Do you understand what I'm saying?
Sarah: Completely.
Ellie: Of course you do, of course you do. I'm gonna go get us some more wine.

Sarah: I am so sorry about all of this.
Chuck: That's okay, it's okay. It's not ideal but I've lived a pretty good life. I mean, how many guys can say they landed a helicopter and saved the lives of innocent people?
Casey: Courageous and honorable members of the United States military.

Sarah: It says here the crossbow is his weapon of choice.
Chuck: Oh, what, slingshot's too ineffective?