Chuck quotes

412 total quotes

All Seasons  
Season 1
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Casey: Why's it so important to you Chuck? Why the hell do you care so much about me and Ilsa?
Chuck: I don't...I don't know man, OK, I juse-I think it'd be nice to know that you had a life before...this. I just figure that if a guy like you can find love, no offense, Casey, then maybe there's hope for me too, maybe this spy business isn't as screwed up as I think it is.
Casey: Hmmm.
Chuck: Hmmm? That's, that's okay, you know what? If you want to go through life all emotionally constipated and alone then suit yourself. I'll let you go back to protecting the greater good you freaking robot!
Casey: I met her in a flower market. In Rome. Ilsa was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.
Chuck: I knew it. IT'S ALIVE!

Casey: You sure it was Magnus you saw?
Chuck: Gee, I don't know, Casey, how many psycho archers do you know?

Casey: You! What do I have to do to get timely intel out of you, Bartowski?
Chuck: Look, I briefed Sarah last night, alright?
Casey: [sarcastically] Oh, I bet you did, slugger.
Chuck: I thought we're all suppose to be part of the same team here, huh, Team Chuck?
Casey: We are, but I'm starting to feel like the guy that always gets picked last, and I don't like feeling like Team Chuck's little fat kid!

Chuck: [about Sarah meeting his family for the first time] Meeting the family's kind of a big step, if our relationship were remotely real.

Chuck: [after the super secret computer was downloaded into his head] Did you spike the punch?
Morgan: Something goes wrong, you blame me. After all these years, where's the trust? [pause] Yes, I did.

Chuck: [knocks down a bad guy while tied to Casey's back] How do ya like me now suckah!

Chuck: [regarding the pictures of dead people] Why are these people sleeping?
Casey: They're not sleeping.
Sarah: They were killed, Chuck, and we wanna know why.
Chuck: [putting the pictures down] I have no idea.
Casey: Well, look again.
Chuck: I would rather not. It's kind of creepy.

Chuck: [to Sarah, under the influence of a truth serum] God you're so pretty! And Casey, your jaw was chiseled by Michelangelo himself.
Casey: Thank you.

Chuck: [to Sarah] Look, I'm not accusing you of Yesterday yes, I may have laid it on a little thick with the accusing. But I'm really sorry about that. Instead of not trusting you I should have been thanking you for saving my life and protecting the country and for making really tasty gourmet wieners.

Chuck: [while on a date with Lou] It wouldn't be an official Chuck Bartowski date if the woman didn't leave injured in some way.

Chuck: How am I supposed to know that Carina has a remote control jet ski? It's usually not an option in real life.

Chuck: I am in the bathroom! Is there nothing sacred to you people?
Casey: Just the right to bear arms.

Chuck: I count six SVB54 explosion protected security cameras with infrared surveillance.
Sarah: Did you have a flash?
Chuck: No, they sell them at the Spy Shop in the Buy More plaza.

Chuck: I'm sorry, but was Harry wearing the new assistant manager polo shirt?
Morgan: It's monogrammed.
Chuck: He must be stopped.

Chuck: I've got some bad news. Big Mike wants us to fix all of this junk in two days or he's going to give the assistant store manager position to Tang. I'm sorry guys. And Anna.
Anna: "Guys" is fine; I don't mind.
Chuck: No, it's not right. We need to come up with something non-gender specific. How do we feel about "team"?
Anna: Fellow Nerd Herders?
Lester: The Lesters?
Jeff: Chuck's Stable of Hoes?