Jason quotes from Cheap Seats

Jason

"Oww!!"

Randy

"Well it's a good the ball hit Farmer that way Randolph didn't have a chance to boot it."

Jason

"Again just like Marge Schott."

Randy

"Yes. Alright let's move on to the bottom of the seventh inning. National League up 3 to 2. Trying to hold to their ninth straight All-Star win."

Jason

"Ooooh and that one just took out the Keebler elves."

Randy

"He won't be making any Town House crackers any time soon, I can tell you that much."

Jason

"Two balls with one strike."

Jason

"I'll just wipe off the plate and... oh God, tell my wife I love her."

Randy

"You're wearing a cup, right?"

Jason

"I was but I took it off in the eighth. Boys needed some air."

Randy

"Good call."

Jason

"Ladies and gentlemen..."

"The Giant Cookie!!"

"How bout it!" How bout it!"

"Drink! Drink! Drink!"

"Drink? You want me to? Ok!"

"Owww!"

"I'm sorry. I forgot. I'm lactose intolerant."

Randy

"That's ok!"

"Seriously guys, my throat's closing up! Can't breathe! Choking on vomit!"

Randy

"He's really hurt."

"The Cookie!!!"

Randy

The Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee.

Jason

Where kids just get to be kids.

Jason

Who are put on a stage in front of a nationally televised audience and asked to spell words that would make a dictionary editor wet his pants.

Jason

Remember most of these kids are only 12 or 13.

Randy

And at a puberal age your number one goal is just to fit in.

Jason

Wait a minute, what was that word you just said.

Randy

Puberal

Jason

Ah what's the language of origin please?

Randy

It's Latin.

Jason

Definiation please.

Randy

Puberal. Of or relating to puberty. Puberal

Jason

Could you use it in a sentence please?

Randy

You were pretty damn ugly when you were puberal.

Jason

Yeah well you were puberally pathetic. I didn't know you were in a mariachi band.

Randy

Well I looked like you ok, so whose laughing now huh. Spell the word.

Jason

Puberal...P.U.B.E.R.R.A.L. Puberal. (ding)

Randy

Oh sorry. This must be bringing up a lot of stuff for you?

Jason

No it's not.

Jason

He's intern.

Randy

I thought interns in Washington liked to work under the desk. Folks!!

Randy

I did it all for the gnocchi!! The gnocchi!!

Jason

Come on

Randy

So you can take that cookie!!! And stick it up your..!!!

Jason

Alright that's enough.

Jason

Cameron you dirty bird.

Succedaneum

Randy

Man, when your word is almost a complete sentence, you know your in trouble.

Randy

She's got it.

C.C.

Jason

She's got it!

D

Jason

She's got it!!!

A. N. I

uuuuh!!!

Randy

No PlayStation for you.

Hey guys, I have a favorite.

Randy

Beamy

Jason

Beamy! Our favorite Cheap Seats beam. What are you doing?

Well you know, just hanging out watching the bee having a little gin.

Randy

That's a little weird.

Yeah i guess im off the wagon.

Jason

Ok well who's your favorite in the 95 bee?

Well i got alot of money riding on Justin Carroll.

Randy

Wait, you bet on this?

Yeah i used to have kind of a bad gambling problem. So I guess I'm off that wagon too. Well see you guys later.

Jason

Ok wow seeing a new side of Beamy here.

Randy

Well lets get back to the action and see if he's right.

You know what is is fucking heating up.

Whoa!

Jason

Ok

Randy

Beamy

Jason

Relax man

Hey what I am relaxed what are you talking about?

Randy

are you drunk?

Hey (beep) damn right Im drunk i got 15 grand riding on this thing.

Jason

Alright guys you know what can we loss the beam effect.

Randy

Yeah this is really uncool you don't just show up to work drunk Jon.

Whoa who's Jon. My name is Beamy.

Jason

Alright fine Beamy! You obviously have a drinking problem, you very clearer have a gambling problem you need help. I don't know how much more clearly we can spell it out for you.

Well maybe i can spell it out for you. S P E..Fuck you.

Randy

Alright

Jason

oh Come on! Cut him off

Cut you off

Randy

Get him some coffee.

You go coffee

Jason

Alright we'll be back after this.

You..I..You be back.

We will be back

Randy

Actually

Good maybe when you come back you (Beep!)

Jason

Oh come on!

Randy

What?

Randy

Is he on his knees.

Jason

It's Dorf on spelling.

Jason

And next to him are the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders.

Randy

Damn you tight shot!

Randy

Damn paparazzi!

Jason

What did I tell you about wearing shorts?

Randy

No one can see.

Jason

I can.

Randy

Man when Jamie Foxx researches a role he really goes all out.

Jason

Georgia!