Cheap Seats quotes

It's okay, kid. Spelling bee says, not everyone can win. Someone has got to lose, and that someone just happens to be you.

Jason

By the laws of the label super, these dogs should all have one fatal weakness.

Randy

For Superman it was Kryptonite.

Jason

For the Supersonics it was Vin Baker.

Randy

For the Superfreak it was crack cocaine.

Jason

And for these superdogs, it may just be their superjock counterparts.

Jason

Ok who calls great athletes, superjocks?

Randy

Super dorks.

Randy

(Talking About Mike Conley) Why's he so mad? 'You cannot bring that camera on my lawn! Uh-uh.'

Jason

(Talking About Bill Johnson) Me, a Superjock?

You know Willie what strikes me is there's a derogatory term that we sometimes use in regards to athletes...

Jason

Please don't.

...they got a little dog in 'em.

Jason

Ah you did.

Randy

Ahhh.

If they would compete in the Olympics, maybe they would win gold medals too.

Jason

But dogs can never compete in the Olympics because they're dogs.

Randy

Well at least this event isn't biased in favor of Lundquist, an Olympic swimmer. [during a swimming contest in which Lundquist is the only pro swimmer in]

Randy

[cracking up while seeing a fat woman bent over] Baby got... Baby got back.

Randy

"He's dragging the dog. Who the hell is this guy, Ike Turner?

Randy

Uh that's not a word-a-ly.

Jason

Alright settle down lady; it's not the NBA Finals.

Randy

Is this crowd even in the same place as this event?

Jason

Are they even in the same season as this event?

Randy

Yeah it's like late Fall in the stands.

Everyone loves watching Superdogs! Superjocks! right?

No!

Well now you can play it anytime you want. It's the Superdogs! Superjocks! Home Game.

Awesome.

You can choose to be your favorite Superjock.

I don't want to be Steve Lundquist.

I don't want to be Steve Lundquist either.

Kids, no one wants to be Steve Lundquist, not even Steve Lundquist. That's why every game comes with an extra Mike Conley, in his swimming attire.

Wow, is that real Spandex?

It sure is and it smells like him too.

The rules are simple. Each player is dealt five cards from the yellow deck. Then the player sitting second closest to the yellow deck rolls three dice. Move the amount of spaces equal to the side of the red die facing away from you. If the total on your next roll is less than the age of your dog in human years, times two, you earn the right to draw two happenstance cards from the Doggie Deck. Move five spots if you draw a Willie Gault card, but if your other card is a Loch Ness Boombox, it cancels your move and lets other players rub your dog's nose in it. It's that easy! Superdogs! Superjocks!: The Home Game. Guaranteed to be a whole lot of dog gone fun. Cards, dice, board sold separately, dogs not included.

Jason

Dog looks good.

Randy

"Yes he's ready, that's why he's choking himself to get going.