You know, I understand ferrets as a pet. Snakes, spiders, even a hairless mole. But a rat?
There are probably kids in the city who keep cockroaches as pets.
You’re probably right. Strangest pet you ever had?
You.
S3 E8Murder Most Fowl
S3 E9Close Encounters of the Murderous Kind
[holding a DVD] Wait! That's it? I mean, no pomp? No circumstance? What's on this could shape the foundations of our very existence. We need to pause and savor-
[taking the DVD] Please, let's just stick it in and get this over with.
[Castle and Beckett had been captured, interrogated and injected by government agents the night before]
Those men knew who killed Marie and they refused to tell us.
They also refused to confirm that J. Edgar Hoover liked to wear dresses.
[walking up and checking out the injection marks on their necks] Abducted by government agents, huh? [grins] Come on. What were you two really doing?
[rolls eyes] It's not a hickey, Esposito.
You both have one.
I wish it was a hickey. [Beckett looks up with a small smile] It's from the injectors.
Is that what the kids are calling it these days?
They were Men in Black!
...
[Ryan walks up to Castle, Beckett and Esposito]
Hey. Are those hickeys?
Yes.
No.
I wish.
[Showing a photo to two Chinese men she holds at gunpoint] Have you seen this man?
[In Chinese] My partner is crazy and may start firing at any moment.
[They point]
Go. Go! [They run] Semester abroad?
No. A TV show I used to love.
Huh. Nice job.
Thanks.
[A captured suspect begins chewing on something]
Cyanide capsule! [pries the object from the suspect's mouth, inspects it with a flashlight, sees it's chewing gum] ...Ew!
[Examining the altitude chamber]
What would happen if a person went inside?
HMs. Holder
Without protective gear?
Mmm-hmm.
HMs. Holder
Your lungs rupture from gas expansion, and all the liquid in your body evaporates.
So, all the horrible effects of outer space, without the view.
Where do you come down on deficit spending during an economic downturn?
[Hands Beckett her coffee]
[Taking the coffee] Thank you. I take the theory that’s held by most economists, that deficit spending is acceptable as long as it focuses on public investment, like infrastructure, defense, education, research.
Wow! Where did that answer come from?
A semester of Economic Theory at NYU. Where did that question come from?
Trying out conversation starters.
S3 E10Last Call
[After entering a sewer discovered next to a basement.]
This must be part of the old sewer system.
Probably the exact sewer system --- This is incredible, isn't it?
Yeah! Aside from the fact that it's damp, cramped, dark, and we're almost certainly walking in rat poop. [high pitched] Awesome.
[Examining a body they found in the river]
…so I'd say no, this was no boating accident.
Then we’d better close the beaches. [Lanie and Becket give him confused looks]"No boating accident"? Chief Brody? Hooper? [the women are still confused] Seriously?
S3 E11Nikki Heat
[Castle walks into the station carrying two coffees. Natalie is writing on the "murder board", Beckett eyes at her uneasily]
NNatalie
[Takes a coffee] Thanks, Castle!
[Stunned at her audacity] Tha--that's, I was-- uh... you're welcome?
[Beckett looks shocked and distraught]
So, where are we?
NNatalie
Ryan and Esposito are digging into Tanya Wellington.
[Directly addressing Beckett] Mmm, what about Duke Jones? Did his neighbour confirm his romantic evening?
He--
NNatalie
[Cuts her off] So did a couple of other neighbours, who complained about the noise. So it looks like Duke Jones allibis out.
[Put out] What she said. [To Castle] Can we talk for a second?
Sure.
[Beckett loops her arm through his and quickly leaves the room, ending up frantically dragging him into another room]
She took my coffee, Castle!
It's just coffee.
Then what's next? My soul?! Everything I do, she does. Even when I'm thinking I can feel her in my head like some kind of a brain-eating parasite from one of her movies!
[Natalie walks in dressed up as Beckett, with a brunette wig and similar suit. Castle's and Beckett's jaws drop.]
Just like I dreamed it! [They both stare at him] Did I say that out-loud?
NNatalie
Is Castle gay?
[So shocked that she spits out her coffee] I'm sorry, what? No. No!
NNatalie
Then you two are an item, but you're sworn to secrecy, right?
No, we are not an item. Why?
NNatalie
[Sighs] Last night I invited him back to my place. And he said something to me I have never heard from a man before.
What?
NNatalie
"No."
[Raises her eyebrows] No?
NNatalie
I don't get it! He's into you, but you're determined not to give into these feelings that you clearly have for him. So he fantasizes about you through his writing. It's literally verbal masturbation.
Uh--okay, so what does this have to do with me?
NNatalie
[Indicates her "Beckett costume"] I am not wearing this getup for my health. You're Nikki Heat, he's Jameson Rook. I need to sleep with him in the name of character research. Can you talk to him?
And say what?
NNatalie
[Shrugs] I dunno, give him permission or something.
[Beckett is momentarily speechless]
I have to go. Over there. [She disappears in a random direction]
[Watching Natalie at the murder board] Do I really do that?
Yes, and it's adorable.
If it's so adorable, why didn't you sleep with me? [Castle looks momentarily puzzled] Her me, not me me.
Oh, well a fictional character that I wrote, based on you, played by Natalie Rhodes? It's just way too... meta.
[Ryan walks in] We should have a code word so we all know what Beckett to kill when the clone army attacks
Unless we make a preventive strike
Get through to Jenny yet?
She's still not picking up
Don't worry, you'll be laughing about it soon enough
We are
Thanks. So I've been running through all Stacy's clients files. Three couples had filed for divorce within the last month, can you believe it? You marry the love of your life and next thing you know they're cheating on you
Ryan
Sorry, anyway two of the guts have rock-solid alibies and the third divorce has nothing to do with cheating
[Esposito walks in] What you guys doing?
Hiding from creepy Beckett
We are not hiding
S3 E12Poof! You're Dead
I never pegged you for a magic fan. You know any good tricks?
I do this one thing... with ice cubes.
I wonder how Zalman did it. Must've whipped something from Jerome's pocket with a receipt for his weekend of sin.
Like this? (Holds up Castle's phone.)
(Gasps.) You had your hand in my pocket and I didn't even feel it? Do it again.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Castle pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.