Richard Castle quotes from Castle

Castle

What?

Beckett

Nothing... it's just I'm so used to seeing you act like a 12-year-old all the time, it's refreshing to see you as a father.

Castle

It makes you want me, right?

Beckett

...And there's the 12-year-old again.

Castle

Does he look like a killer to you?

Beckett

Everybody looks like a killer to me, Castle. Job requirement

Castle

Do I look like a killer to you?

Beckett

Yes, you kill my patience.

Esposito

Found your stalker. Franco Marquez, aka Frankie Markie. Hayley filed half a dozen complaints against him. It says here that he even tried to break into her apartment. And when she filed against him, he showed up in court and called her a...[sees Alexis] B-I-T-C-H.

Castle

She can spell, Detective.

Ryan

Probably better than you.

If you killed someone, you would tell me, right?

Alexis

Of course. I'd need help hiding the body.

Ah, haha. That's my girl.

Yeah. Sounds pretty. Little creepy, though.

Martha

Very creepy.

Alexis

How's it creepy?

"Death, she grows near"? It’s kind of like Final Destination, but in song form.

Alexis

She doesn't mean "death" death.

Well, what other kinds of death are there?

Alexis

Allegorical, metaphoric, symbolic, spiritual, emotional, sexual –

Okay, okay, that's quite enough. I think I'm paying far too much for her education.

Esposito

Where's Nidal Metar? Shakir Nidal Metar! Where is he?

There's no Shakir Nidal Metar here! Only Sally Neidermeyer!

Beckett

Ma'am, did you send a package by bike courier this morning?

Yes, I did!

Beckett

"S. Nidal Metar?" S. Neidermeyer! Some bozo at the courier company wrote the name wrong.

Castle

Our bad. Uh, we can -

Ryan

- Yeah, we can fix this.

Castle

[lifting the door] Sorry.

Castle

How does she do that?

Montgomery

Better than anyone I know.

Castle

Are you sure it's sanitary to be eating here?

Do you know the strength of the disinfectants we use here? This is the cleanest room in the city. [offers his sandwich to Castle]

Castle

I couldn't.

Homemade.

Castle

I couldn't.

Beckett

[arriving on the scene of the crime] So, what do we got?

Castle

May I?

Esposito

Be my guest.

Castle

Thank you. Our victim’s name is Caleb Shimky…

Esposito

Shimansky.

Castle

Is that an A?

Esposito

Yeah, it's an A.

Castle

And he was pulling a Kevin Bacon in Quicksilver when all of-

Beckett

I'm sorry, what?

Castle

Quicksilver. [Beckett shakes her head] Kevin Bacon is a bike messenger who failed as a-

Beckett

[turns to Esposito] Esposito, take him to school.

Esposito

The victim is Caleb Shimansky, an on-duty bike messenger. Masked suspect in a black 4-door plows into him, killing him instantly. The suspect steals the messenger bag, jumps in his ride and jets off.

Beckett

[looking back at Castle] See, that wasn't so hard.

Castle

No, no, it's good, if you like the dull, non-best-seller version.

Esposito

I thought I gave it some flair.

Beckett

Were the two of you dating?

Uh, no, just friends. What? Can’t a guy and a girl just be friends?

Castle

Please.

Are you two together?

Castle

[simultaneously] Not yet.

Beckett

[simultaneously] Absolutely not.

I speak for the entire Wellesley family when I say you can expect our full cooperation in this investigation.

Castle

But? You can tell, there's a "but" coming.

Not a "but", a "however". Like I said, we'll cooperate, however, we request these unannounced interviews come to a stop.

Beckett

Here we go.

Montgomery

Beckett, let's hear him out.

I apologize if I'm coming off like one of those guys, Detective. It's just that these impromptu visits are a bit awkward. My nephew Trent said you spoke to him when he visited my mother. Mother became very confused, very upset. I'm sure there's a better way to facilitate this.

Beckett

Like what?

Well, I propose that all further interviews be coordinated by me and conducted at my offices. What do you think?

Montgomery

Thank you for your offer, Mr. Wellesley. It's very nice of you.

[rising up from his seat] Not at all. I'll give you my number-

Montgomery

Hold on. I, too, have a "however". Thank you for your offer, however, my detectives will conduct their investigation in any manner they see fit.

Captain, I can get the commissioner on the phone in under a minute.

Montgomery

Well, tell him I said hi, and I could really use a raise. [Rising up] I think we're done here. [Lets out his hand to shake, but Blake walks away. After he leaves…]

Castle

That was awesome!

Montgomery

Whatever you guys are doing, keep doing it. They're circling the wagons.

Castle

[rising up, and pointing at Montgomery with a grin] Awesome!

Martha

What will Chet think if he expects 1980s Martha, and present-day Martha shows up?

Castle

You tell anyone I said this, and I'll deny it. And I'm only gonna say it once; 1980s Martha was pretty great, but present-day Martha is pretty spectacular, too.

Alexis

I can't believe how many lives were ruined over one woman's need to protect her family's reputation.

You will never have this problem. Between Grams and myself, our family reputation's already in ruins.

Alexis

Mmm. Lucky me.

[Regarding his handcuffs] Hey, you guys mind if I take these things off? I'm starting to feel like a stereotype riding around in the back of a police car wearing them.

Beckett

Sure. Do you want my key?

Nah, I got it. Thanks. [Undoes his handcuffs]

Castle

How did you do that?

I've always been good with locks. When I was in the joint, I was thinking how can I take this and make it more productive, you know? So, I've been applying for locksmith schools, but, you know, they won't let me in on account that I'm a felon. Can you believe that?

Beckett

A felon who wants to be a locksmith. What could possibly go wrong there?

You don't have to be mean about it.

Castle

Yeah. Wow.

Beckett

How does a prosecutor get into business with a criminal?

Castle

Well, it's hard out there for a pimp who's also a DA. Ooh, that be a good character for a novel. A star prosecutor who's always excelled at everything he's ever done. He couldn't possibly imagine that being a pimp would be a bigger job than he can handle by himself. But one day he gets a call, one of his girls has been knocked around by a client. He realises there's nothing he can do about it, he's a very public figure. So, a white collar prosecutor decides to hire a blue collared enforcer. Can't exactly take out an ad on Craigslist for that. But fortunately enough, he has a big stack of qualified candidates sitting right on his desk.

Beckett

Which is where he found John Knox. A criminal who mostly managed to stay out of prison.

Castle

Which makes him a smart criminal.

Beckett

Yeah.

Castle

Buckley offers him a deal. "Come work for me, I'll throw your case." And Knox does. For a while, everyone's happy. But then Knox decides he's not happy being number two anymore. He takes Buckley's client list, tells Buckley to take a hike.

Beckett

Knowing that Buckley can't do anything about it without risking exposure.

Castle

But Buckley's never backed down from a fight in his life. He gets the cops to drag Knox down to his office to remind him who's boss.

Beckett

But Knox took it up a notch, sending a warning shot across Buckley's bow by threatening his brother-in-law.

Castle

And when Buckely wouldn't back down, Knox threw him off the roof of the parking garage.

Beckett

Jeez, if only we had some proof.

Castle

Who needs proof? What a great story.

Castle

Thanks.

Beckett

For what?

Castle

For not saying "I told you so."

Beckett

Oh, that starts tomorrow.