Kat quotes from Call Me Kat

Kat

You can't drive with an expired license.

Sheila

Watch me, 4 eyes.

Kat

Give me your keys.

Sheila

If you want my keys, you'll have to take them.

Phil

Dang, that made my neck tingle.

Kat

Now, Thor, some of the exhibits on early humans will feature some tasteful nudity.

Max

So try not to stare.

Kat

And definitely, no touching. Learned that the hard way.

Max

Grade school field trip?

Kat

Last month.

Max

So, that's why the security guard keeps following us.

Kat

Look at you. Good with babies.

Max

To be fair, I do the same thing with Carter when he's cranky. Do you want to hold him?

Kat

Oh, no thanks. The only, tiny, whiny thing I like is Phil.

Kat

I'm gonna go to the restroom before we hit the gem and mineral exhibit, because we are going to be there a long time. I get very fired up about igneous rocks. Lava, fire. But, when you see the plaque, you're going to erupt with laughter.

Max

Stop it.

Kat

Okay. That was the last one. I promise.

Kat

Alright, thank you all for coming. Got a big announcement.

Carter

You getting a haircut?

Randi

You really think she asked all of us here at 7:00 AM to tell us that she's getting a haircut?

Carter

That's what I would do.

Sheila

I know what it is. She's finally coming out. Everyone pay me.

Kat

Mother, I'm not gay.

Phil

She's definitely not gay. My gaydar never fails. Except with Anderson Cooper. How did I miss that?

Kat

Anyway, thank you all for being here. You're basically my family, even you, mother. So, here's my big news. I'm gonna have a baby!

Max

What?

Phil

How?

Carter

When?

Randi

Why?

Max

I'd like to circle back. What?

Kat

Uh, the correct response is "Yay, Kat! We're so happy for you!".

Phil

Oh, my highness. You ain't seen nothing yet.

Kat

Seriously, 1 ply?! Might as well scoot on the floor like a puppy.

Kat

This is from you?

Max

I had it made for the baby. You know, silver king bird. Silver Bird.

Kat

A Silver Bird Production.

Max

Yeah, because I was gonna be the dad and you're gonna do the...

Kat

So, last night was fun. But, also stuff that friends don't normally do.

Max

Yeah. Yeah. Are we friends who just had a crazy night or are we...

Max

Hidden figures? It's about ladies who do math for the space program.

Kat

I know. Say it again.

Max

Wait, you're really gonna go?

Kat

Yeah. She's losing her eyesight. And when they took away her license, I promised I would help her out.

Max

Okay.

Randi

I'm glad we went to the wedding, but 17 hours on a plane was brutal.

Max

At least you weren't sitting next to a crying baby the whole time.

Carter

I couldn't help it. It was such a beautiful wedding. I just love. Love!

Kat

Alright, everyone. Wedding slideshow is done. Gather around.

Kat

Love. Light.

Leslie.

Dear friend, there'll be. No sad farewell. There'll be no tear-dimmed eyes. Where all is peace, and joy and love, and the soul of man never dies. Now, that's some lines from the song that you and I did together. I know usually, at a memorial, people talk about somebody. Well, I'm gonna talk to you. 'Cause there is that place on the other side, and I'm certainly gonna see you there, little brother. You left a lot of people here with a lot of precious, precious memories. Everybody loved you. But I doubt that many of 'em loved you more than I did. Anyhow, I just want you to know that we all love you, we all miss you and I bet you're having a big laugh over all of us being sad and sorrowful and I know that would be the last thing you would want us to be. So, anyway, you made us happy while you were here, and we're happy that you're at peace. And I just want you to know that I will always love you. Goodbye, my sweet Leslie. See you over there.

Kat

But we're not just looking for a new baker. We're looking for a new member of the family.

Randi

Oh, not me, I got too much family. I need muffins.

Kat

See, Randi's the sassy younger sister and I'm the cool older sister where you're like "She's valedictorian and makes her own blue jeans? What?".

Kat

When I was in high school, I tried to start a clique for people who weren't in cliques. Got squeezed out. Stupid Ashley and her eye patch. I swear it changed sides.

Randi

Okay, well, thank you for coming in.

Kat

Oh, my gosh, look at that thing, it's huge.

Max

That's what she said.