Buffy the Vampire Slayer · Season 5
“Intervention” · Season 5
In this episode: Buffy Summers (4), Rupert Giles (2), Xander Harris (1), Willow Rosenberg (1), Spike (1), Anya Jenkins (1), Tara Maclay (1), Buffybot (1)
[about a ritual] So, how's it start?
I, uh, jump out of the circle and I jump back in it and then um, I shake my gourd.
I know this ritual! The ancient shamans were next called upon to do the hokey pokey and turn themselves around!
[affecting annoyance] Go quest.
...
[Giles sighs, then reluctantly jumps out of the circle, jumps back in, and shakes his gourd.]
And that's what it's all about.
Everyone, before we jump all over her, people do strange things when someone they love dies. When I lost my mother, I did some pretty dumb stuff like lying to my family and staying out all night.
Buffy's boinking Spike.
[Willow and Tara are left speechless for a moment.]
Oh. Tara's right. Grief can be powerful, and we shouldn't judge--
What are you, kidding? She's nuts!
No one is judging you. It's understandable. Spike is strong and mysterious and sorta compact but well-muscled.
I am not having sex with Spike! But I'm starting to think that you might be!
Quite extraordinary, really.
Thank you. But I really think we should be listening to the other Buffy, Guiles. [She pronounces it with a hard G, like "guy."] She's very smart and she's gonna help us save Spike.
"Guiles?!" [turns to address the real Buffy] Spike didn't even bother to program my name properly!
[to the Buffybot] Listen, skirt girl, we're not going to save him. We're going to kill him. He knows who the Key is, and there's no way he's not telling Glory.
You're right. He's evil. But you should see him naked! I mean really!
[impersonating the Buffybot] Why did you let that Glory hurt you?
She wanted to know who the Key was.
Well, I can tell her, and then you...
No! You can't ever. Glory never finds out.
Why?
Cause Buffy, the other, not-so-pleasant Buffy... Anything happened to Dawn, it'd destroy her. I couldn't live, her bein' in that much pain. I'd let Glory kill me first. Nearly bloody did.
[Buffy kisses Spike]
And my robot?
The robot is gone. The robot was gross and obscene.
It wasn't supposed to...
Don't. That thing, it wasn't even real. What you did for me and Dawn... that was real. I won't forget it.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Buffy the Vampire Slayer pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
