Principal Snyder as Colonel Kurtz and Xander as Captain Willard in “Restless”

Where are you from, Harris?

Well, the basement, mostly.

Were you born there?

Possibly.

I walked by your guidance counselor's office one time. A bunch of you were sitting there ... waiting to be shepherded. I remember it smelled like dead flowers. Like decay. Then it hit me. The hope of our nation's future is a bunch of mulch.

You know, I never got the chance to tell you how glad I was you were eaten by a snake.

Where are you heading?

Well, I'm supposed to meet Tara and Willow. [beat] And possibly Buffy's mom.

Are you a soldier?

[shakes head] I'm a comfortador.

[contemptuous] You're neither. You're a whipping boy. Raised by mongrels and set on a sacrificial stone.

[nods] I'm getting a cramp.