Bromwell High quotes

Well, what did you think? Give me your honest opinion.

You were shit, shittier than shit. You were so shit it made me wanna block up my ears with shit, and eat some shit, and then do a shit.

Right...Latrina?

Shit.

Well, obviously I can't expect you to appreciate the subtleties of Indian classical music. For my talents to be truly appreciated, I require a more sophisticated audience.

I agree, if sophisticated means deaf.

[after he gets a record deal] Mornin', Martin.

I'm not jealous...

Of what?

Nothing. Fuck!

What'd you mean fuck?

I love teaching, I don't wanna be a millionaire [begins to cry].

Is Mr. Anderson leaving?

Are you two leaving?

So you're both still teachers?

You'll both be teachers forever, I reckon.

Ow! You accidentally hit me!

And you too!

Oww!

Hello?

This is Quentin Leaves from the Ministry of Education...

There is a Ministry of Education?! Huh, what next? Ministry of Kabob?!

Shit. Hold on, is the minister that blind geezer?

No, no, he's not blind.

Wha, the guy with the dog and stick, who is fall down the big hole last week, that everyone else could see?

You'll get detention if you set the school on fire!

And if my auntie had nuts she'd be my uncle!

Keisha, you have a detention.

[on mobile phone] Auntie May! You is a lying bitch!

You realize this would mean giving up all wheelchair facilities.

Oh boo-hoo.

But what if there's a fire?

[mocking him] But what if there's a fire? What if giant meteor hit the earth tomorrow? [thinks, becomes terrified] Bloody Shitcakes! We'd all be killed!

[addressing assembly] Finally, the wheelchair swing has been smashed up. Now, we is sure whoever did this to the wheelchair swing wants to own up. But, just to be certain, we is going to kill one pupil a day 'til they do.

Mr Phillips, are your pants are on fire?

No, these aren't mine. I found them in lost property.

Miss, it already half past nine. We may as well go home!

Gee, you're absolutely right!

Oh Natella! Wheelchair accessible is for gays!

You've set fire to 3 things this week!

No way. Prove it.

One thing on Monday, one thing on Tuesday, and one thing today. One and one and one is three.

I have to tell that Aisha broke the swing. That is the right thing to do.

That is the right thing to do, and after she murders you, you'll go straight to heaven!

I'm a Hindu.

Disneyland?

I's don't get it. You's Fired.

[to Keisha] Well, I hate Valentine's Day. It always ends in depression, violence, or pregnancy. Depending if you're me, you, or Latrina.