Keisha quotes from Bromwell High

I is tolerant like a muthafucker.

Why is English not be easy? I is speak the bitch!

[As the Albanian Chicken Nuggets men leave] Why is Kelly Edwards in your car?

So, this week's project is tolerance. I want each of you to do a presentation in assembly on Friday.

And the best one wins a prize!?

No, no prize.

I'm going to win that prize, Miss Dickson.

How do you always think you're gonna win?

Because I always do.

Oh yeah.

Really, there's no prize. I don't believe in prizes.

What, you don't believe prizes exists?

Well I believe they exist but...

Well then I'm going to win that prize, Miss Dickson.

I don't think so.

Oh don't you, Natella? And why won't I win?

Because, I always do.

Oh yeah.

Who can tell me something different about Kylie? Keisha?

She STINKS!

Yes, stinking is different. Most people would bathe. Yes, Latrina?

Her face looks like she's been 'it by a spade.

SPADEFACE! Yes that's different.

Rick Brumshah's done a shit IN HER POCKET!

Oh, that's a good one.

Well today's the day.

Yep, D-day.

Yep, Thursday

Yep, Friday.

Yep, Wednesday

No, Keisha, it's Friday

Or maybe it's D-day

Yes, but...

You think you know so much about the days of the week!

So, is we gonna be police officers together then?

[Gasps] Latrina, policemen is bad. B-A-F bad.

That's a lie.

A lie, is it? Or is it [dramatic pause] the truth?

No. You need better questions.

Better questions you say. Or do I need [dramatic pause] worse questions?

Well, what did you think? Give me your honest opinion.

You were shit, shittier than shit. You were so shit it made me wanna block up my ears with shit, and eat some shit, and then do a shit.

Right...Latrina?

Shit.

Well, obviously I can't expect you to appreciate the subtleties of Indian classical music. For my talents to be truly appreciated, I require a more sophisticated audience.

I agree, if sophisticated means deaf.

You'll get detention if you set the school on fire!

And if my auntie had nuts she'd be my uncle!

Keisha, you have a detention.

[on mobile phone] Auntie May! You is a lying bitch!

You've set fire to 3 things this week!

No way. Prove it.

One thing on Monday, one thing on Tuesday, and one thing today. One and one and one is three.

My name is Latrina and I have a question for the fat bitch.

That's fat lady, Latrina.

Sorry, Miss Fat Lady. Why are you so fat?

Now Latrina, that is a totally inappropriate question. Anyone else? yes, Keisha?

Miss Fat Lady, have you ever crushed a man to death during sex?

Well go on, answer the question.

It's always some day or another at this school! Today's sex education day, yesterday was Monday. Let's take a day off, man!

You always want to take a day off. You're trapped in a cycle: don't want to learn because you can't read, can't read because you don't want to learn.

I can't read, Natella, because I have attention deficit disorder.

What's that?

What's what?

Now I is going to have to do his homework.

Homework, what's this homework?

Homework. We have to finish it and hand it in, then he marks it.

Marks it, I'm sorry I'm not familliar with the phrase.

You know "marks it," right or wrong.

Right or wrong, this man is teaching you that certain things in life are right or wrong? [after nods] That's so wrong!

State your business, man.

I'm here to sack one of your teachers.

[excitedly] Welcome to Bromwell High!