Bromwell High Season 1 quotes

So, this week's project is tolerance. I want each of you to do a presentation in assembly on Friday.

Oh, Miss Dickson, tolerance is for gays!

So, this week's project is tolerance. I want each of you to do a presentation in assembly on Friday.

And the best one wins a prize!?

No, no prize.

I'm going to win that prize, Miss Dickson.

How do you always think you're gonna win?

Because I always do.

Oh yeah.

Really, there's no prize. I don't believe in prizes.

What, you don't believe prizes exists?

Well I believe they exist but...

Well then I'm going to win that prize, Miss Dickson.

I don't think so.

Oh don't you, Natella? And why won't I win?

Because, I always do.

Oh yeah.

I is tolerant like a muthafucker.

Who can tell me something different about Kylie? Keisha?

She STINKS!

Yes, stinking is different. Most people would bathe. Yes, Latrina?

Her face looks like she's been 'it by a spade.

SPADEFACE! Yes that's different.

Rick Brumshah's done a shit IN HER POCKET!

Oh, that's a good one.

[After flat-block is demolished for lacking council planning permission] I have some experience in corporate manslaughter, headmaster, and I suspect we'll have to give that money to the relatives of the dead. And probably a good deal more, due to what lawyers would call your massive and absolute incompetence.

Screw this country that knocks success!

[On ways to save money] From now on, no more coffee, you will only drink your own urine, like I do. [Gasps] In fact, you will drink my urine. [Gasps] And no more biscuits, you will eat only horses. [Gasps] And no more books, these kids can't read anyway.

Tell us at least you'll be spending the money on books!

If by books you mean wind-surfing lessons, then yes.

Well today's the day.

Yep, D-day.

Yep, Thursday

Yep, Friday.

Yep, Wednesday

No, Keisha, it's Friday

Or maybe it's D-day

Yes, but...

You think you know so much about the days of the week!

I'd like to see his haymaker.

I'd like to see his left ja-er, right hoo-um, what's another name for cock?

The prize goes to Kylie for reminding us that it's easy to be tolerant to those we like, but true tolerance includes being nice to stinking ginger freaks! [hands Kylie a large TV]

So, is we gonna be police officers together then?

[Gasps] Latrina, policemen is bad. B-A-F bad.

That's a lie.

A lie, is it? Or is it [dramatic pause] the truth?

No. You need better questions.

Better questions you say. Or do I need [dramatic pause] worse questions?

O.K., there are two teachers running for promotion to head of year eight: the slutty one and the stupid one.

You might want to be a tad more specific, Headmaster.

Oh, right. Uh, Miss Dickson and Mr. Phillips.

Yes! I'm the slutty one!

[reading a letter]: So, kidnapping pays off? [to Iqbal] I resign.

Oh Natella! Indian music is for gays!