Miss Dickson quotes from Bromwell High

The prize goes to Kylie for reminding us that it's easy to be tolerant to those we like, but true tolerance includes being nice to stinking ginger freaks! [hands Kylie a large TV]

[to the kids in the Ugly Class] Just remember, you're not here because you're ugly, you're here because you're ugly and it's Valentine's Day.

So, this week's project is tolerance. I want each of you to do a presentation in assembly on Friday.

Oh, Miss Dickson, tolerance is for gays!

So, this week's project is tolerance. I want each of you to do a presentation in assembly on Friday.

And the best one wins a prize!?

No, no prize.

I'm going to win that prize, Miss Dickson.

How do you always think you're gonna win?

Because I always do.

Oh yeah.

Really, there's no prize. I don't believe in prizes.

What, you don't believe prizes exists?

Well I believe they exist but...

Well then I'm going to win that prize, Miss Dickson.

I don't think so.

Oh don't you, Natella? And why won't I win?

Because, I always do.

Oh yeah.

Who can tell me something different about Kylie? Keisha?

She STINKS!

Yes, stinking is different. Most people would bathe. Yes, Latrina?

Her face looks like she's been 'it by a spade.

SPADEFACE! Yes that's different.

Rick Brumshah's done a shit IN HER POCKET!

Oh, that's a good one.

I'd like to see his haymaker.

I'd like to see his left ja-er, right hoo-um, what's another name for cock?

O.K., there are two teachers running for promotion to head of year eight: the slutty one and the stupid one.

You might want to be a tad more specific, Headmaster.

Oh, right. Uh, Miss Dickson and Mr. Phillips.

Yes! I'm the slutty one!

Miss, it already half past nine. We may as well go home!

Gee, you're absolutely right!

Headmaster, this hole is dangerous! Whenever Jesus sees a hole, He fills it.

Oh, like my cousin.

Oh, come on, Gavin, it's not dangerous/ There's a huge sign saying "DANGER: BIG HOLE." As long as the kids can read, we'll be fine.

Or maybe the writing is ambiguous.

Bloody typical, the only kid in the whole school and only this sentence.

My name is Latrina and I have a question for the fat bitch.

That's fat lady, Latrina.

Sorry, Miss Fat Lady. Why are you so fat?

Now Latrina, that is a totally inappropriate question. Anyone else? yes, Keisha?

Miss Fat Lady, have you ever crushed a man to death during sex?

Well go on, answer the question.

Why don't we call you Bucketface?

I'd rather have a bucket face than a bucket fanny.

Martin!

What? I didn't tell anybody.

I believe you can have 11 year old tyrants.

No, you can't!

Oh really? Well, I guess you never heard of a little boy by the name of Mr. Adolf Hitler! Right little terror he was!

Hitler was 44 by the time he became Chancellor of Germany.

Oh sure, he looked older, didn't he, because he had that mustache! Like that little Asian boy in Year 7. Or Miss Gosby.