Brickleberry · Season 1
[Steve has a squirrel and a rabbit]
Which is cuter? I don't know. The tourist loved the squirrel. The hiker, God rest her soul, loved the rabbit. If only I could have both...but how? [goes into ultimate thinking mode] That's it! You guys just need to fuck each other!
[shouting] Get out of my sight!! You're dead to me, bear cub! GET OUT!!!
What a rabid gustation period. It must be their mutant DNA that might-
[mocking] Deh deh deh, Science. Deh deh deh deh, SHUT UP!!!
Ethel's right. Aren't you concerned about how fast they're reproducing?
Yeah, of course, you agree with your GIRLFRIEND! I'm not concerned at all. More Squabbits. More tourists. [in a blaccent] More tourists, more money. Right Denzel?
I am declaring open season on Squabbits! I want every poacher in the state here to shoot, stab, run over, decapitate, eat, kick, or fist those little bastards!
Or we could just relocate them.
We're gonna relocate them alright. TO HELL!
Hello! Sorry, I'm late guys.
Pamela Anderson?
Jackpot!
What's that skinny old man with that tit-job doing here?
Winnie the Pooh never had to deal with this bullshit.
So, cute! Need to hug. [she tried to hug Malloy and then she fall downs onto the ground and she get eaten by the Squabbits, and her poisonous body killed off the entire Squabbit species]
Wait, you're not Vietnamese. [takes a closer look at Connie] Now I remember you! You are that waste of space that washed out of my program! I knew you would wind up in a garbage dump like this!
Hey, no matter what color I am on the outside, on the inside, I'll always be a dignified black man.
That makes two of us!
Hi, brown sugar. You gettin' pretty for me?
Maybe.
These are for you.
Oh..My..[shrieked] GOD!
Wow. You really like roses, huh?
Oh, Woody, Woody, I love it, I love it, I love it!
What the hell do you want, Steve?
Woody, as you know, I'm the representative for the rangers here, and we have some demands we'd like met.
Demands?
Well, maybe suggestions.
Suggestions?
Well, more of a wish list, actually.
Alright, Steve. [cracking his knuckles] You want to negotiate or we'll negotiate.
[Steve gulps and comes out to see the rangers]
Good news, guys. We don't have that crappy health insurance anymore.
Really? That's great! What insurance do we have now?
None but this way, we'll be more careful.
[Everybody groans]
Also, you know what I really hate? When you're in your groove, rangering it up and then boom, you get interrupted by having to take a lunch break. So uh, Woody's gunna get rid of those.
Steve, you're a spineless turd! You can't stand up to anyone!
Yes I can!
Sit yo ass down!
Okay.
I've been looking for an act so unconventional, that it will SHAKE UP THE INDUSTRY! I've got BIG PLANS! I'm going to make you a STAR!
Hmm, I don't know, Mister.
It's Jorge. Come on, I'll even hire these two freaks.
Okay, I'll do it.
YES! [to Denzel] You'll be our new DJ and [to Ethel] you can mop up the peep booths.
What?
Man, I hate DJ-ing. Wanna switch jobs?
Really?
Hello no! I love DJ-ing. Have fun mopping up that semen.
"Fear not humanoids. Bigfoot is your friend, unlike that Jew-hating Loch Ness Monster."
"I HATE THE JEWS!!!!"
[shoots a deer in the head with a handgun] WHYYYYYYYYYYYY....did I enjoy that so much?
Dammit you bastards! This is the bottom of the 9th! It's our last chance! [to Malloy] Come on, rally bear! Show some spirit! Why can't you dance like those black bears? [points to the Yellowstone black bears chanting "Go Yellowstone!"]
I am fighting the urge to say something horribly racist.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Brickleberry pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
