JJorge
I've been looking for an act so unconventional, that it will SHAKE UP THE INDUSTRY! I've got BIG PLANS! I'm going to make you a STAR!
Hmm, I don't know, Mister.
JJorge
It's Jorge. Come on, I'll even hire these two freaks.
JJorge
YES! [to Denzel] You'll be our new DJ and [to Ethel] you can mop up the peep booths.
Man, I hate DJ-ing. Wanna switch jobs?
Hello no! I love DJ-ing. Have fun mopping up that semen.
Okay, Jorge, there's the line for the costume contest.
JJorge
When does the furry sex commence? My sack grows tight with anticipation!
In a minute. Come on. Left, right, left. Shorten your gait. Come on.
JJorge
What the...What the fuck?
Denzel could do it. What's so hard about this?
JJorge
Because my eyes sting from the fumes coming from your anus. You smell like the Middle East!
JJorge
Hey, you fat furry fook! And you, too, bear!
SRSuper Rape
You stuck me with the bar tab.
JJorge
You burnt down my club!
Your crappy insurance barely paid your deductible.
MMan
And you mauled my kids!
In fairness, that wasn't Flamey. It was a real bear he sent to your house.
MMan
Ah, okay. [leaves happy]
DDonnie
[snarls] This is it? You four think you can stop me?
Don't listen to him! He'll use his lies to try to make us turn on each other.
DDonnie
The preacher said you're a pussy.
What? [he punches Vernon]
VVernon
What's wrong with you?
Like that. That's a good example of what we shouldn't let him to.
[Donnie laughs evilly]
Oh, laugh now, antichrist. Because surprise! We've assembled an Exorcism dream team! Father Quinn!
FQFather Quinn
I'm going to need to be alone with the child. You don't have to nanny cam, right?
RMRabbi Maltzman
No, no, you stay in there, demon. As long as you're comfortable. I schlepped all the way here from Brooklyn. Eh, but don't worry about me.
And Witch Doctor Kuzniak!
Lucky for us, I went to medical school in Haiti.
And Jorge! Who's seen the Exorcist seven 1/2 times and let us use his car.
JJorge
I'm not with them! I'm on your side!
JJorge
Come on, let me sell you my soul. I'll sign whatever contract Ben Affleck a signed. WHATEVER!
DDonnie
I was up for a challenge. This is going to be far too easy.
FQFather Quinn
The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you!
[Father Quinn dies in explosion caused Donnie's satanic powers]
DDonnie
So, who wants to choose how I will kill the rest of you?
JJorge
Blowjobbed to death?
DDonnie
You got it. By rabid hell hounds. And here we...[wailing]
I'm going to write Kate Upton a not-so-nice Yelp review. Ethel? What the hell's going on here?
We're doing an exorcism on your crazy-ass devil baby!
JJorge
And we almost got blowjobs, until you showed up!
VVernon
Connie, we've got to trust the Lord. Just like it say in the Bible. If the exorcism don't go so bueno, throw that goddamn baby in a volcano. Ha!
Sorry, Connie, but it's the only way to stop the apocalypse.
You lucky we got a volcano right here. Most people with devil babies gotta pay for a plane ticket to Hawaii.
[to everybody] Screw you guys! Come on, Donnie. I'll protect you. I promise! [she runs off]
JJorge
Get her! That baby owes us blowjobs! [he runs off]
Steve, we need to talk. Whoa.
JJorge
Oh yeah, That's hot.
This for a magazine or something?
JJorge
No, no, just for me. Now, bend over and show me your pooterus.
Steve, I owe you an apology. I've been horrible to you lately, but seeing you like this...oh, and like that...and not so much that one. But it makes me realize that I do want to have this baby with you.
So what do you say you and I go on some perfectly safe family fun activities?
Brickleberry · 109 quotes
