Amber quotes from Brickleberry

I'm here about the job?

Yeah, actually, we've already decided...

Woody

That you're hired.

Oh, goodie!

WHAT!?

Connie

Yes!

Woody, how could you possibly hire that girl?! Do you know what she did her first morning on the job?

You shot my husband!

Oh, I thought he was a bear attacking you.

He's not a bear! He's just Armenian.

It's okay, She's hot.

[gasped] Bear! [she shoot an Armenian man with a gun]

Woody

So the world has one less clogged shower drain. Amber ain't going anywhere, Ethel.

Good morning, everybody.

Well, I'll really miss that nigger when he goes to the fire tower.

Whoa. We don't use that term here.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm really miss that nigger when he goes to the "watch-tower".

Woody

Aw, I've never seen racism be so adorable.

Well, I'm sure Denzel wouldn't agree.

Denzel

Yes, I would. It's only wrong when ugly people say it. Bye, Amber.

Bye, nigger!

You know what? Screw you, guys! I'm going to go work on my orphan baby animal sanctuary.

Oh, I want to go! I like baby "aminals".

Woody

Anything for you, honeypot. Ethel, take Amber and show her the ropes.

Oh, I'd love to show her the ropes.

Steve

[in Ethel's thought bubble] Wow, she's dead and she's still hotter than Ethel.

God damn it!

[she holds a parrot] Aw, cute, cute, cute!

Be careful! I rescued that poor little guy after his parents were killed by predators.

Oh no, the Predator! Someone call Arnold Schwarzenigger!

That's not how you pronounce it, at all.

Hey, little birdie. you don't need to be so sad. Here. [she gave it a zoloft to parrot]

What did you just do!?

I gave it a zoloft to make him happy.

You can't give a bird zoloft!

Oh no. [giggles] That adderall will take the edge off. See?

Fly away, god's creature. [she toss a parrot onto the floor and Ethel facepalm]

Thank you all for being here tonight to celebrate the opening of the Ethel Anderson orphan animal sanctuary. Hello?

So, do Asian people see the world in letterbox?

Sure, sure, whatever you say.

"Welcome Amber"?! We're supposed to be celebrating the grand opening of my animal sanctuary.

Woody

Change the plans, fugly. Now scram, you're blocking my view of Amber.

This is my night! This is not about some racist pill-popper with nice tits!

Aw, thanks, Ethel. And thanks for coming to my welcome party. You look so cute.

Woody

Amber, you are so sweet for lying to Ethel like that. Give me a hug. Now one from behind.

Enough of this bullshit, Woody! We both know that she's not fit to do any job at Brickleberry.

Woody

Sure she is. [to Amber] What job would you like, Amber?

I like the baby "aminals".

Woody

Good idea. From now on, this is the Amber Orphan "aminal" sanctuary, and you're in charge.

Woody, you can't do that!

Woody

Already done. Now cut out, Nanny McPhee. You're bringing down the party.

Can I get something strong?

Beat it, sea world.

How's about you put me back in charge of my orphan animals?

Woody

How about I put you in charge of getting you wall-eyed nipples away from me?

What? I'm hot! I'm a ten!

Malloy

I guess that makes Connie a 13.

Woody

Look, Scare-A-Reid. As long as Amber's around, She's in charge of the "aminals"!

Aw, look how happy he is since I took over. I got to buy some more pills. The red kitty dogs love them. Fly away, god's creature. [she throw the baby fox under a ceiling fan to get sliced into both the upper body and lower body to fall on the floor] Yay! Now there's 2 kitty dogs!

Jesus Christ. I can't believe I fell for her too. But that ass is so...no, no, no.

Amber, are you crying?

I thought you were the only one here that didn't look at me like piece of meat. I'm sick of getting by on my looks. and because I never had to work for anything, I suck at everything.

You could be a ranger, and I can help you.

Really?

It's not about looks. I know for a fact that you have greatness inside of you.

You think so?

Smell for yourself.

The coyote says...

A-roo!

That's right! You're on your way to being a great ranger.

Yay!

I think we're ready for the "plant or animal" coloring book. Be right back. Oh, in the meantime, study these forest flash cards.

Oh, my god. That's a...fiery! And it's right where the sanctuary is! This is it, Amber. It's time to be a great ranger! [she runs off]

Amber, where'd you go? I was thinking we could do arts and crafts next. We can work our scissoring.

Connie

Did someone say "scissoring"?

Amber? Amber! Has anyone seen Amber?

Woody

Ethel, I...I think we lost her.

I did it! I saved them! [she release some animals after she save them]

Whoa.

Did I get burned a little? I can't really feel anything.

It's not...bad. Here. Ooh, much better.

You were right, Ethel. I can be a great ranger!

So, um...thank you for your bravery, and um...

Woody

Amber, you're fired.

Oh! Because I have a couple of burns?

Woody

No, because I can see through your face.

Ethel, tell them what you told me, that it's not about looks. It's about what's on the inside?

You know what, Woody? Amber's right. Looks or no looks, she does belong to Brickleberry. And I know the perfect place for her.