[Skyler forces Walt to rehearse with her a conversation so they can announce to Hank their purchase of the car wash without arousing suspicion]
Walter"I'm terribly, terribly ashamed of my actions."
Walter
Two terribly's?
It's supposed to show contrition.
Walter
Okay, I would just never use that word. I would never say the word "terribly."
Phrase it however you want, okay? You're jumping ahead. Now...
Walter
And why am I so ashamed?
Do I really need to answer that?
Walter
I was–and am–providing for our family.
Let's just pick up where we left off.
Walter
I'm "weak", I'm "out of control." I mean, this whole thing makes me look like crap.
This has to be a warts-and-all story, Walt. This is how we both sell it and we both look bad.
Walter
How do you look bad exactly? Where is the "I slept with my boss" bullet point? Because I can't seem to find that anywhere.
For a fired school teacher who cooks crystal meth, I say you're coming out pretty much ahead.
[Hank and Walter are looking over Gale's lab notes]
[looking at Gale's lab notes] Right here, here at the top, it says, "To W.W. My star, my perfect silence." "W.W." I mean, who do you figure that is, y'know? Woodrow Wilson? Willy Wonka? ...Walter White?
Walter
Heh. [jokingly putting his hands up] You got me!
[Walter is venting to Saul about his problems with the business]
Walter
What about my brother-in-law? He suspects Jesse—Hell, he knows Jesse is involved in the sale of blue meth. That was Hank's one and only lead.
Now what if he puts and he goes after Jesse for the murder? He goes after him how? On his Rascal Scooter? [pause; clears his throats] That, perhaps, sounded insensitive. But if he goes after him, I'll sue his ass for police brutality, harassment, assault, and sixteen other things. Now, the history that those two have together being what it is, you got to figure your brother-in-law's smart enough not to go down that particular road. Goose egg, bupkis. That's what the cops got. I wouldn't worry about it.
Walter
Then what else should I not worry about, Saul, hm? Should I not worry that Gus plans to murder me at the first chance he gets? Should I not worry that my drug-addicted partner doesn't seem to care whether he lives or dies? You should see his house. It's like Skid Row! He has actual hobos living there! Now how long before Gus decides that he's too big of a risk? That guy Mike, that grunting dead-eyed cretin, sucker punching me in the face! I've got Gus wielding a box cutter! I mean... Western Union! Message received! Let me ask you, when did this stop being a business, hm? Why am I the only person capable of behaving in a professional manner?
Walter
Jesse, Jesse! What happened yesterday? Where were you?
I was out with Mike helping make pickups.
Walter
Picking up what?
Cash, dead drops. Mike made the pickups and I guarded him.
Walter
You... guarded Mike? What is this, some kind of a joke?
And you know what? Two dudes tried to rob us and I saved the stash. I took care of business, just like I'm taking care of business right now. You want to stand there dicking around or do you want to suit up and get to work? Get in gear, yo, if you want to do this because I'm meeting up with Mike this afternoon.
Walter
What, again? Why?
Guess I have two jobs now.
This guy Gale Boetticher, he was eccentric. Real character, y'know? He's, uh, he's dead now.
Uh, he was a meth chef. We're talking five-stars, candles and white tablecloth, y'know? I can't believe these words are coming out of my mouth, but he was a genius, plain and simple. I mean, uh–Boy, if he applied that big brain of his to something good, I dunno, who knows? He could've helped humanity or something like that. I mean, how many actual geniuses are there in the world? If he'd have taken his life in a different direction, who knows?
WWalter
Hank, not to tell you your business, but I'm not sure I agree.
WWalter
Well, you showed me that notebook and from what I saw–and this is just my humble opinion–from what I saw on those papers... genius? Not so much. I mean, there was no reasoning, no deductions in those pages, so to my eye, all this brilliance looks like nothing more than just simple rote copying, probably of someone else's work. Believe me, I have been around enough students to know. So this genius of yours, maybe he's still out there.
You're not some hardened criminal, Walt. You're in over your head. That's what we tell them. That's the truth.
Walter
That is not the truth.
Of course it is. A schoolteacher, cancer, desperate for money...
Walter
Okay, we're done here.
...roped into working for–Unable to even quit? You told me that yourself, Walt. Jesus, what was I thinking? Walt, please, let's both of us stop trying to justify this whole thing and admit you're in danger!
Walter
[pause] Who are you talking to right now? Who is it you think you see? Do you know how much I make a year? I mean, even if I told you, you wouldn't believe it. Do you know what would happen if I suddenly decided to stop going into work? A business big enough that it could be listed on the NASDAQ goes belly up! Disappears! It ceases to exist without me! No, you clearly don't know who you're talking to, so let me clue you in. I am not in danger, Skyler. I am the danger! A guy opens his door and gets shot and you think that of me? No. I am the one who knocks!
[Walter smacks open the car wash cash register]
Walter
Yeah.
BBogdan
No problem. As is. Who'd have thought that someday I would be handing these keys to you? [Bogdan hands Walter the keys to the car wash] Many years... Almost forgot.
[Bogdan takes down his framed first dollar]
Walter
Bogdan. As is.
[Bogdan hands over the framed dollar and leaves. Walter smashes the frame open and uses the dollar to buy a soda]
Walter
Alright, I need an update.
Walter
An update on these little field trips that you've been taking with Mike.
I told you already we pick up money, check on things, stuff like that.
Walter
And you're his bodyguard, right? [Jesse turns away] What? What? That's what you said!
I said I guarded him, like backup, like a second set of eyes. Everybody needs backup, right?
Walter
And this has to be you? It can't be–I don't know–Tyrus or any of the couple dozen muscleheads that Gus has working for him? It has to be Jesse Pinkman. Why? What, is there something about you I don't know? Are you a former Navy SEAL? Do you have to have your hands registered as lethal weapons?
[flips Walter off] Register this.
Walter
All I'm saying is that do you not even question this? Do you really believe that you mean anything to these people? And I'm not trying to be insulting, I'm just trying to make you see things clearly.
I see they can't outright kill me but they don't want me getting high. I see this thing probably started as Gus getting Mike to babysit me. But you know what? I saved Mike from getting robbed, even killed maybe. So maybe I'm not such a loser after all!
Walter
I mean, what if it... Oh, God... [beat] I mean, what if it...What if it's all just a set-up?
Walter
What if this robbery that you stopped wasn't even real? I mean, think about it. Your first day out guarding Mike, he steps out for one second and what happens? You immediately get robbed.
Walter
Keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer. Like you said, Gus can't kill you because of me. He knows that I won't stand for it. He needs me and he hates the fact that he needs me! So what does he do? He goes to work driving a wedge between you and me!
You're an asshole. If you'd been there, you'd know it wasn't a set-up.
Walter
Wait a minute, how long did those guys chase you, huh? 'Cause the way you describe it, they gave up pretty damn easy. No, no, this whole thing–all of this–it's all about me!
Walter
Skyler, I may have overstated things earlier and I'm sorry to be so forward. But I just–I want you to know something. I want you to–I need you to understand that you are safe. You, Junior, Holly... You are completely safe. Everything that I do–everything–I do it to protect this family.
So buying that car, that was protecting your family?
Walter
Okay, I... Alright, maybe it's a little flashy, but he needed a car, and I'm his father, and I should be able to get what he wants.
Walter
Skyler, it will crush him.
That car directly contradicts our story. And if you're so invested in protecting this family, it means protecting the story. What do you think the neighbors are gonna say, Walt? What about Hank and Marie? How about the IRS? What were you thinking, Walt?
Walter
I was thinking that I wanted to do something nice for my son. [beat] Look... I just worry that he'll blame you for this.
Oh, he will. Once again, he'll blame his bitch mother for taking away what his loving father has given him... So, thanks for that. [pause] But you know what, Walt? Someone has to protect this family from the man who protects this family.
Walter
A month ago, Gus was trying to kill both of us, and now he pulls you out of the lab and employs you as... what? An assistant gunman? A tough guy? Does that make any sense to you? He says he sees something in you. What kind of game is he playing? Does he think you're that naïve? He can't truly think that you'd forget. Let alone Gale, let alone Victor, and all the horror that goes along with all of that, what about this girlfriend of yours? And her little brother? I mean, the man looked you straight in the eye and told you no more children, but that very night, that little boy... he just, he winds up... I mean, Gus can't possibly think that you'd forget that. All I'm saying is that is it possible that he would think that you're that weak-willed...
Drop the sales pitch. I'll do it.
Walter
You'll do what?
I'll kill him. First chance I get.
GGary
It's like what they say: Man plans and God laughs.
Walter
That is such bullshit.
Walter
Never give up control. Live life on your own terms.
GGary
Yeah, no, I get what you're saying, but uh, cancer is cancer.
Walter
To hell with your cancer. I've been living with cancer for the better part of a year. Right from the start, it's a death sentence. That's what they keep telling me. Well, guess what? Every life comes with a death sentence. So every few months I come in here for my regular scan, knowing full well that one of these times–hell, maybe even today–I'm gonna hear some bad news. But until then, who's in charge? Me. That's how I live my life.
[Hank wants Walter to drive him out to Gus' distribution center]
So, what do ya say, buddy? Got another field trip in ya?
Walter
[feigning illness] Uh, Hank, uh, I mean, it sounds great, really does, but y'know, I won't lie, you caught me somewhat... indisposed.
What do ya mean, like, taking a dump indisposed?
Walter
Yeah, that's... embarrassingly, that's it. Y'know, it's just upset stomach and everything. It's out of control... really explosive. Bad Tex-Mex at the mall.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it, you don't have to paint me a picture. Probably one guy in a diaper is enough for this trip anyway.
Breaking Bad · 300 quotes
