TV show quotes
I can't believe Louise doesn't want to have a slumber party.
Well, she's not the most social kid. She still hasn't accepted my friend request. And I know she's seen it.
If she'd just do the things she hates, I know she'd love it.
That sounds like nonsense.
Nonsense, or Mom-sense?
"Danger" is my middle name. But I spell it R-U-T-H.
I'm having my own Super Bowl blowout this year. I'm holding all of my BM's until halftime, where I will make a "Super Bowel!"
Gene, you can't hold your poops in, all right? You gotta set 'em free, so they can go down the sewer and find their families,
I'm their family! I raised them!
[Bob tries to fund his commercial by withdrawing from his savings account.]
[typing on his computer] This is an impressive savings account here.
Yeah?
And then, here's yours.
Okay...
[switching between the two screens] Good planning, careful saving... [Bob's account] ...no apparent plan, small random deposits.
Okay, you've made your point.
Good! I shouldn't even be showing you this other account, but I couldn't think of another way to help you.
Actually, it's kind of hurtful.
Aww!
Look, I know I'm basically emptying my account, but it's for a good reason. I'll be in here soon depositing twice as much.
Oh, that'll be fun! I'll have our vault enlarged.
Did someone here order an NFL legend? Because next door, they did not. And they yelled at me to leave. Hi, I'm Sandy!
Where are our kids' projects? We can't find them.
Oh...they're um...they're over there.
You didn't point at anything. When you say "over there," you kind of have to point at something.
("Finger Quotes" throughout)
The Superintendent is here and I'm already on thin ice with her because my "credentials" aren't "valid" in "this state."
Louise, relax! It's me, Darryl. Come with me if you want to continue to be alive.
("Farts Will Set You Free")
It's that gas from your ass
That toot from your boot
That hum in your bum
That loot from your chute
All that air from your ol' derriere
Come on and set it free
'Cause farts are liberty!
What do we wanna do? (Fart, fart!)
Open up your butt cheeks
This is how our butts speak
Let's
Go
Faaaaaart!
You know a lot about bat mitzvahs for someone who thought Chanukkah was Han Solo and Chewbacca's baby.
Rumor has it this party will be packed with Beef-ohs.
What are "Beef-ohs"?
B-F-O-S; "Boys From Other Schools".
What's wrong with the boys from your school?
I need fresh faces. And fresh butts.
You'll take the butts you're given and you'll like it!
(Bob and Linda need a babysitter.)
Well, there's got to be someone who can watch the kids.
I'm someone.
We could call your cousin Vanessa.
She's in a cult.
What, people in a cult can't babysit?
I'm not in a cult.
Come on, there's got to be someone we're not thinking of. What about the checker from the grocery store? She said the kids were cute that one time.
Ugh! She smells awful!
I think your kids are cute. I'd love to watch your kids!
Teddy, have you ever babysat before?
Nope. But I'll bet I'd be good at it. And I wouldn't charge you guys anything.
Uh, I don't know if...
(Grabbing Bob's hand and walking him away) Alright, let's hit the friggin' road!
(On the Wine Train, Bob and Linda notice a wine taster making obnoxious noises as he drinks)
Oh, that guy must really know what he's doing!
Why, because he's slurping?
(After Linda invites him over...)
Linda, no. I don't want to drink with that guy.
Why? I do, Bobby. He's an expert!
Well, I was looking forward to a relaxing day off. I wasn't even going to talk to you that much, to be honest.
Super-freaky, huh?
What?
Linda was right about who was calling. And where Mort's wallet was. Two predictions in a row!
Try a third one, Mom!
Okay! The next person to walk in will be tall, dark and handsome.
Um, *ahem*, I'm already here.
Hehe, good one, Papa.
Thank you, son.
You're welcome.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Bob's Burgers pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
