Being Human quotes

Allison

Don't tell me you're still on MySpace?

Hal

We're more Ceefax people.

The last time somebody spoke to me like that, I used their skin as a Filofax cover. God, I miss the '80s!

Shit happens. Life's a contact sport. If you can't stand the heat, stay inside on bonfire night.

What?

He likes action films, don't ask.

Allison

And you're condoning this?!

Well, we can't exactly go to Ofcom.

Hal

Then it is time to declare your intentions! First, write her a poem. Then speak to her father.

Tom

Annie said I should just get drunk and try and to snog her.

Hal

It's all so brutish these days! I preferred the dowry system.

I've never been kissed.

Annie

What?

When I was alive.

Annie

[disbelieving] Really? Never, ever? In your whole life?

Allison

It's not that unbelievable.

Tom

I could imagine actually.

Hal

We've all had dry spells.

[Trying to think of last words] Something about...heartburn? Heart...break? No, that doesn't work, does it? Shit! [dies]

Annie

I have a baby - Eve. I have to look after her.

Annie... I am the baby.

Annie

What?

It's me, Annie...Mum. I'm Eve.

Hal

It's not dissatisfaction. It's a feeling more akin to having been born in captivity. A seeping realisation that your dreams and ambitions are just too big, too rich for this domestic world.

Hal

Three people can't have dinner together. That's barbaric!

Annie

So, this is the future? Really?

Eve

For you. Yeah.

Annie

Ooh, do people have jetpacks?

Eve

No. Mostly everyone's dead.

Softly softly, massacre monkey.

You could go straight back to the top of the pile. That's cool. That's your rightful place. All I ask for in return is that when they write the history of what's about to happen, they give me a mention, and a statue. And maybe Brazil.

Hal

I like your mouth.

Oh, thanks sugar. I'm sure that sounded less creepy in your head.

Annie

[Tom]'s like a child. He's lovely. He's like a pet. Bloody big one, like a St Bernard or a horse. He's physically incapable of lying or being cruel, so I do worry about him... He shouldn't be killing vampires, he should be getting disappointing A Level results.