Being Human quotes

Hal

[to Tom] You're a child, you know that? Watching you negotiate grown-up emotions is like watching a gorilla perform keyhole surgery.

Hal

We can raid the dressing up box and pretend to be human, but ultimately what's the point? Sooner or later we all go back to being the monsters we truly are.

[with rising incredulous anger] What I was - no, you stole that from me! You dragged me into this world! You killed my wife! You turned me into a murderer, an addict! You made me abandon my whole species! No! No, you do not do that and then apologise! No, sir!

Hal

I assume you just close your eyes and picture yourself somewhere else.

Trust me, I've been doing that since you arrived.

Eve

I make a bloody good cup of tea.

Annie

That's my girl!

Hal

Unfinished business tends to be more life-affirming than beating someone up.

Not if you're Scottish.

Mr Snow

Am I missing something? Is he giving me a television set?

[Flicking through TV channels] I don't understand. Someone must have reported it.

Mr Snow

Because I already have a television the size of a bed sheet.

Mr Snow

Thanks to you, breweries the world over are safe from piss-ups.

Mr Snow

These eyes have looked upon Pharaohs and the son of the carpenter. And, now, they must look at you, proudly showing me your idea, like a child with a handful of its own excrement. I have never known humiliation, failure, or obscurity. How does it make you feel? Like coming home, I imagine. I've already forgotten your name.

Tom

Always be kind and polite and have the materials to build a bomb.

Tom

What are you doing, hanging around with a load of vampires?

Because there's nothing noble about being on the side that loses.

Tom

I bet you support Manchester United as well, don't you?

You know, they're an incredibly skillful team...

They're the men with sticks and ropes. I saw them when I died. Thought they were evil Morris dancers.

What's the biggest thing you've ever Rentaghosted with?

Annie

Er, hey, listen. This is not a party trick. This is an invaluable defensive weapon...An armchair.

Mr Snow

Celebrate and be glad, for this, your brother, was dead, and is alive again. He was lost, and is found.

Annie

Give me back my fucking baby!

Mr Snow

That's the funny thing about saviours: they can make one a little...dependent.