Hal quotes from Being Human

Hal

Unfinished business tends to be more life-affirming than beating someone up.

Not if you're Scottish.

Hal

Why are you doing this?

Tom

'Cos you're my best mate.

Tom

What's that you're doing?

Hal

I'm disinfecting the keyboard with pure alcohol and a cotton ball.

Tom

I'd never think of doing that. I'm never gonna win this competition, am I?

Hal

This isn't part of the competition. Doesn't everyone do this?

Tom

Larry's gonna stay here a while to train me.

Hal

Great. The more the merrier -

Tom

[interrupting] You're not the boss of me here, Hal. I can do what I like.

Hal

Yes, I know. I-I said it was great.

Hal

He's been filling your head with utter nonsense! Tom, these attitudes he's encouraging-they're shallow! They're aggressive-

Tom

Alright, alright! Maybe he's not a very nice guy! Maybe that's the truth! But you know what? I don't care. 'Cause nice guys finish last, Hal. And I'm tired of finishing last. 'Cause when you're there, and you get to the finishing line, you find that the pie's already gone, 'cause some bugger like you has already ate it. [beat] The Success Pie. [beat] Which is where they keep it. At the finishing line on the top of...Success Mountain- I don't really know how it works.

Hal

You don't have to stoop to his level.

Tom

Well, maybe I do, Hal. 'Cause I'm sure of one thing-that McNair would've wanted more for me than this. And I'm letting him down. Every day I'm letting him down. And maybe this is a way I can make him proud of me.

Hal

This is your chance. This your only chance to be the wise man who walks away and lives to see another day.

So...we're more alike than I thought.

Hal

We are nothing alike.

When you look at me, you see the monster you're hiding.

Hal

You believe whatever you want. Just go.

I'm a little too wild for your liking, aren't I? Little too unpredictable, little too...complete?

Hal

It's clearly helped you make such a success of your life.

Didn't you tell Tom all that stuff was unimportant? Instead, I've got no struggle, no tug-of-war; just one voice, one life, one me. [He steps towards Hal.] Seeing that's gotta hurt.

Hal

I strongly suggest you take a step backwards.

You know what? I think you're just one big PR exercise. You think I'm a fraud! Well, I guess you'd know the signs. All huff and no puff. Ooh, c'mon, let's see this big bad Hal that's got everyone so scared.

Hal

You don't know what you're doing.

Maybe I do. Maybe I want this. Maybe I want to "see the monster." C'mon, let him out, let's play! If he's even real. You got the others fooled; it's not exactly hard, is it? A slag and a retard?

Hal

You wanna talk to the real me? [He bares his fangs at Larry and chokes him with the cord of a lamp.] Hello, Larry. Here I am, did you want to speak to me? Hello? [Larry falls to the ground.]

Hal

All we're doing is marking time until the inevitable.

Kind of like life, then?