[dribbling beer slowly from a bottle] Look at the waterfall, Beavis. Gently pouring down, like pee coming out of a weiner. Ahhh... just let it go.
“Kidney” · Season 9, Episode 13
In this episode: Smart Butt-head (3), Smart Beavis (3), Stewart Stevenson (1)
Beavis, it's been two days. I've peed 31 times.
Yeah, well, I tricked you, butthole! Now I'll never have to pee, because when you were asleep, I put a chip clip on my wiener. I win! I finally beat you at something. Yeah! [both of his kidneys burst] AAAAAH!!! Ah, my kidneys!
DDoctor
What's your pain level on a scale of one to ten?
[weakly] Sixty... nine... [Beavis and Butt-head chortle]
DDoctor
That's very high. If we can't find a kidney donor match for him soon, we're going to have to send him to hospice. [Beavis tries to get her attention] Yes?
[weakly] Y- you said "piss." [more chortling]
DDoctor
That's right buddy, I did. Hang in there.
MDMale Doctor
We found a match! There's only one in the entire state, and by God, we found him!
FDFemale Doctor
Is he willing to donate?
MDMale Doctor
He drove himself two hours to get here, and he says he wants to help Mr. Beavis any way he can. In fact, he says he knows the both of you.
[Stewart appears]
Hey guys! It's me, Stewart! Remember me?
Uhhh, no.
Stewart, your best buddy from high school!
Oh yeah. That sucks.
Ha, you guys. The three amigos are back.
Jesus Christ, Stewart, not now. I'm waiting for some guy both of us know to give me a kidney.
FDFemale Doctor
N-no, this is your donor.
A part of Stewart's going inside you.
Oh no...
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.