“S”
In this episode: Smart Beavis (114), Smart Butt-head (108), Butthead (4), Jill Sobule (3)
If this was a real concert, some roadie'd be up there in like two seconds, kicking their asses off the stage.
Yeah, he'd just like, throw 'em out into the crowd.
That dude would probably break a bunch of bones and stuff, but at least he got some.
Soundgarden, Black Hole Sun
Hey Butt-head, what is a black hole?
It's sorta like a bunghole. But it's like...
[interrupting] Whoa, Butt-head check it out! That's the chick from Whale, remember? That hobo slumping hobo slut, uhh...remember?
Shut up Beavis, I was explaining something!
Oh, sorry.
So, a black hole is this giant bunghole in outer space. It sucks up the whole universe, then it grinds it up and sends it all to Hell.
Really? That's cool. How do you know all this stuff?
From watching Star Trek, bunghole.
Soundgarden, Outshined
This guy looks like Jesus.
Yeah, Christ is cool!
If you go to Seattle, everybody you see are cool. We should go dude.
Soundgarden, Spoonman
This is a ripoff. It's like, when I see a Soundgarden video, I wanna see Soundgarden, not just, like, pictures of Soundgarden.
Uhh, the video is just a bunch of pictures, Beavis.
What do you mean, Butt-head?
Everything on TV is just, like, a bunch of pictures of something.
No it's not! It's like, sometimes they move.
Yeah, but it's still, like, moving pictures.
No it's not, they're moving around! I mean, they're not moving around, but in other videos they're moving around.
Beavis, you're gonna see a moving picture of my foot kicking your ass in about two seconds. Now just shut up and sit still.
All my friends are Indians (all my friends are brown and red)...
All his friends are brown and red? What's that supposed to mean?
Uhh, it means they're, like, turds. He's telling his friends that they suck.
No sir, I don't have any spare change. Get those damn spoons out of my face.
Get those spoons out of my face before I shove 'em up your butt! Get outta here!
Stacey Q, Two of Hearts
Uh...I think this is like one of those cable access shows where you like call them up and they do like anything you want.
No way! Really? Let's call her up!
Yeah. Let's tell her to like shut up and like take all of her clothes off and get over here right now.
Yeah! She could fix us something to eat.
You can tell that this is the kind of chick who's like, had her tubes tied.
Like, um...how come you know this chick's had her tubes tied?
Just look at her, Beavis!
I think I'm gonna go tie my tubes.
Shut up, Beavis!
The Stone Roses, Love Spreads
[a man jumps up and down]
Whoa, he's not even on a pogo stick. I'll be damned.
[addressing a man dressed in a devil costume] Uhh...hey Satan, how's it going?
How come whenever you see, like, Satan in a video, it's just some dork in a costume?
Yeah. The real Satan doesn't do videos.
Unless it's like for Danzig or something.
If they really had Satan on this song, it's like, you'd hear him talking backwards and stuff, because he can do that.
Oh yeah. You know, I can talk backwards.
No you can't!
Yes sir! Check this out. [backwards speech] Stnerap ruoy yebo. Loohcs ni yats.
Whoa! That was cool.
Yeah, yeah.
Do it again, Beavis!
Um, okay. Check this out. Okay, here goes. [backwards speech] Hguone si hguone. [normal speech] See? [backwards speech] Gniog ti s'woh yeh.
That was cool! So, like, what did you say just then?
I said "Hey, how's it going?" You should try it.
Uhh, let me see. Uhh...Beavis is a wuss. Ah, I mean, uhh...wuss a is Beavis.
Yeah, yeah, see? Anybody can do it. [backwards speech] Stnerap ruoy yebo dna loohcs ni yats.
How do you do that, Beavis?
You just talk backwards.
Yeah, but like, how?
Like this. Um...I am...no wait, that wasn't right...this is...uh, no...damn it, I forgot! I can't do it anymore!
You can't do it anymore.
Stone Temple Pilots, Plush
Is this Pearl Jam?
Yeah. Eddie Vedder dyed his hair red.
Wait a minute, this isn't Pearl Jam!
Yeah. It's good to see you thinking, Beavis.
That guy makes faces like Eddie Vedder.
No way! Eddie Vedder makes faces like this guy.
They both make faces like that John Belushi dude.
Yeah. And he's dead.
I heard these guys came first, and then Pearl Jam ripped them off.
No way, Butt-head! Pearl Jam came first!
Uh, well, they both suck.
Hey Butt-head, Pearl Jam doesn't suck, they're from Seattle.
Oh yeah.
[a rottweiler is seen in the video]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
