Who is this?
Uh...is this that Toyota Jackson chick?
Yeah, it's like...it's Toyota Jackson dressed up like Wonder Woman.
Oh yeah. [reacting to video] ...Oh no.
Yeah. No! NO!
Hall & Oates, Jingle Bell Rock
“H”
In this episode: Smart Butt-head (31), Smart Beavis (30), Max (2)
[John Oates is carrying a stack of presents which cover his face]
Who could that be?
[Daryl Hall takes some of the presents]
Whoa, it's Geraldo!
[A group of people arrive at Hall & Oates' home and are let in. Three other people are left outside]
Uh-oh, don't let Primus in.
Yeah, yeah, they'll trash the place. They'll BREAK stuff!
Yeah. My name is Mud!
Yeah, MY NAME IS MUD! M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-MUD-MUD! And then he'd SPIT!
Sam Harris, Over the Rainbow
He's smiling at you.
Shut up, Butt-head!
Oh god.
Look at his face.
Look at that crack in his chin.
I think it's a buttcrack.
Well I guess that would make sense, since like, there's just a bunch of diarrhea coming out of his mouth.
Yeah. It's like when God was passing out buttcracks, this guy got in line twice.
Yeah. And then God gave him one too, you know, the second time.
[Sam Harris starts belting]
[drinks soda, does a spit take] AAAAHH!!! NO NO NO STOP IT! STOP IT! NO! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! CUT IT OUT! STOP IT! PLEASE SHUT UP! CHANGE THE CHANNEL BUTT-HEAD, RIGHT NOW!!! COME ON!!!
No way. [turns the volume up to full on the television]
COME ON, NO, CUT IT OUT, BUTT-HEAD!!! GIMME THAT!!! STOP IT BUTT-HEAD! STOP!
This is cool.
NO! YOU'RE MAKING ME SICK!!! NO! NOOOOO!!! SHUT UP RIGHT NOW, OR I'LL KICK YOUR BUTTCRACK FACE IN!!!
You dumbass.
[screams unintelligibly]
That sucked, Beavis.
PJ Harvey, 50-Foot Queenie
Check it out, Butt-head! It's Mallory, that chick from Family Ties.
Yeah. This is really noisy.
Yeah. Noise is cool.
This chick is weird.
This chick's mouth is crooked.
I wonder why.
Yeah. Why is it crooked?
Uh... I don't know.
Beavis, the name of this song is ‘50 Foot Queenie.'
Yeah, I'd like a 50 foot queenie.
I'd like a 50 foot weenie.
PJ Harvey, Down by the Water
This chick's got kinda, like, a big mouth.
Yeah, really. And her nose is kinda big too.
And you know what they say about having a big nose.
Oh yeah. She's probably got a big schlong too.
Yeah. Boi-oi-oi-oi-oing.
You can't really do that, Butt-head. So don't even try.
I'm pretty good at smacking you upside the head, though.
Juliana Hatfield, What A Life
Woah, check it out, someone's getting on a chair, Butt-head. Maybe there's gonna be a hanging.
Uh...it's just someone standing on a chair, Beavis. You automatically think someone's gonna hang themself?
Uh, yeah, I guess I'm just uh...WOAH! I just saw a boob, Butt-head. Check it out!
You always think you're seeing a boob like that, it's probably just an elbow or something.
No way Butt-head, it was a boob.
Well so what, you only saw it for like a second or something, what's so great about that?
Um, a second is better than nothing.
No it isn't. It sucks.
Damnit Butt-head, why do you always have to tear down everything good in my life!?
'Cause your life sucks, Beavis. Your life sucks and nobody likes you.
Really? Heh, I don't really give a crap.
[half laughing] You don't have any friends.
I have a special little friend. Boi-oi-oing.
Yeah, shut up Beavis. Your special friend probably hates you too.
No way Butt-head, you wish.
Aah, she's got blood in her eyes! Ew, this is freaky, Butt-head, I don't wanna watch this. C'mon, change it.
Beavis, you're a wuss.
Damnit, someone should help her. They should just like, stop having the video and just like, go help her. She's all beat up. I like....feel all sorry for her and stuff. Kinda freaking me out.
Max Headroom, Merry Christmas Santa Claus
MMax
There's an, old man on a sleigh! Who's like-k-k-k me for just one day!
Is it Sting?
No way, Beavis. Sting sucks! This guy's cool!
MMax
So here's a little gift, a song to him, from me! Merry-merry-merry-merry-merry Christmas Santa Claus!
This dude stutters!
Yeah, that's cool!
Hey Butt-head, Santa Claus looks like one of those biker dudes!
Yeah, except he's got that sled and that dorky outfit.
Yeah, yeah. How does Santa Claus get those reindeer to fly?
Because he beats the crap out of them with a whip!
Yeah, yeah! Maybe he's pretty cool!
Helium, Pat's Trick
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.