[reading in the library] Gosh, Bruce. That Genghis Khan was quite a guy.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
I'm sure they won't find caviar on the menu at Gotham State Prison.
Probably not, but they will get a well-balanced diet thanks to Warden Crichton's emphasis on proper nutrition.
Let bygones be bygones. I'd like to shake hands with both of you. Can't we be friends?
I'd rather shake hands with a spitting cobra!
You're being cynical, Robin. To err is human, to forgive...divine.
...
[After being buzzed by Joker while shaking hands] Another...practical joke, Joker.
Not exactly Batman, it's my deadly joker buzzer, one by one your five senses will leave you. Then your lungs will collapse, and certainly you'll be KAPUT, FINI, DEFUNCT!
What took you so long, Batgirl?
Rush hour traffic, plus all the lights were against me. And you wouldn't want me to speed, would you?
Your good driving habits almost cost us our lives!
Rules are rules, Robin. But you do have a point.
Cattail Lane and Nine Lives Alley. The Grimalkin Novelty Company is on that corner.
Grimalkin? What kind of a name is that?
An obscure but nevertheless acceptable synonym for cat, Robin.
How about rushing the place, Batman?
Shh. I think not, Robin. All they've done so far is stolen a few items, attempted to kill you, me, and Batgirl. No, I think they plan something really big.
NNora
[regarding Batgirl] Oh yes! I forgot about her. With a woman helping them, the Dynamic Duo could give us some trouble...
NNora
[holding a sharp pin to Batgirl's neck] Alright girls, let's tie the Terrific Trio - into Terrific Siamese Human Knots.
You used a foul trick to murder those innocent fruit flies!
You murdered them, Penguin...when you let them out!
[Penguin snatches Chief O'Hara's pocket watch, but then O'Hara and everyone else gets up after pretending to be asleep]
You won't be needin' a watch where you're going!
Wha???
You'll need a calendar - a 20-year calendar!
This is impossible! You're all infected with Lygerian Sleeping Sickness!
CMiss Clean
Oh, you see that's what happens, Pengy-poo, when you're sending off *flies* to do a *man's* job!
That's right, Pengy-poo! We're just sleepwalking!
What do you say to a little sleep-fighting, Robin?
Huh! Good idea, Batgirl!
[After Chief Standing Pat takes a puff from his cigar] That's how he talks. He said "It's a honor to meet you and I look forward to working with you".
You got all that with one puff?
He talks in shorthand.
FFred
Your lack of coherence is exceeded only by your penchant for gibberish.
Why thank you kindly, Fred. That's awful nice of you to say.
[Batman and Robin, hoping to rescue a captured Batgirl from Shame, find an unconscious Frontier Fanny instead.]
They've got Batgirl and we've got Fanny.
That hardly seems like a fair trade, does it, Robin?
Shame, honey, you seen my maw?
Yeah, I seen too much'a her lately.
I think we musta left her at the stable with the horses.
Well, don't worry, nobody'll notice.
Well, we gotta go back and get her.
No can do, lover. By now, she's probably a prisoner of the police. Might as well give her up for gone.
Honey, she's my mother, the only one I got!
Yeah, I know.
Aw, don't be like that. I know she's a battleax and an old owl, but she is my flesh and blood.
Yeah, I was wondering about that here-didity. What'd your father look like?
Oh, he was prettier than my maw.
Nobody could be uglier.
[Shame pulls a gun out of his hat and points it at Batman, but Batman kicks it out of his hand.]
No, Batman! I'm sorry! I'd never...never think to...
Boo!
[hysterical, grabs Batman by the leg] No, Batman! No!
Oh, for shame, Shame! You're not worthy of the name 'Shame'! You're a SHAM, Shame! Don't you EVER grab my tights or pull on my leg again!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Batman pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.